Today I staggered about doing the best I could, considering I had another bout of kidney pain and a tremendous headache. The headache was of the ilk, beyond distracting – almost as if I had a serious neck injury or something. To my knowledge I have not hurt my neck or head so the source is a mystery. I paced around a bit, complained to my children, and (as per usual these days) drank a good deal of water. In the early evening I ate something nutritious and took an ice-cold coffee drink with two Tylenol. Mercifully the headache receded and I was able to get back to some work.

The kidney pain, well today I am just grateful to not be facing surgery in the immediate future, and I have some hopes I won’t need a medical procedure in the next month. However, even my “hopes”, I hang on to those lightly. These days I have more like a preference where general life shit is concerned, and I try to keep my chin up to face whatever I get to face. Some of the most feared and (seemingly-)horrid things that have happened to me, have ended up being tremendous blessings. I might as well be honest and admit I fear medicine and surgery, although I don’t particularly begrudge doctors their trade. It’s a fear I’ve had for a number of years that hasn’t gone anywhere, but I’m a patient bastard too and things might change.

Back to the day at hand: my children ran around the neighborhood, taking Hutch on a long walk, visiting a friend (with pets including a poisonous newt, turtles, and a baby corn snake), then taking a park date, then home to cook up their lunch of noodles and fresh mango before doing some housework (Phoenix sweetly, Nels bitchily). My daughter gave me a lovely shoulder rub and my son pushed me through the house to (gently) throw me down on the bed and give me a trademark “kiss attack”. My children are growing up quite swiftly so I take these lovies while I can get them.

I spent most the working day on a tailored silk jacket for a client and watching a few glumly twee-romance indie films while I performed a prodigious amount of handsewing. I am struggling with this project which means I’m struggling with Life. My husband asks me, baffled, “What could you possibly still be learning on sewing up coats?”

– & this is funny because as with many things I’ve put time into, the more I practice the more I realize I do not know!