In the car Phee and I are talking about adulthood and periods and my son listens for a bit, then says,
“I’m glad I’m a boy.”
Then he corrects himself, “Actually I’m not. Men and boys face all kinds of dangers -”
(I’m nodding, thinking suicide, homicide…)
“- like MAN-eating sharks! Why don’t they eat women?”
Phoenix immediately catches the spirit and chimes in: “The race of MANkind is doomed!”, she bleats in a sonorous, scary voice. Then, acting as a “woman”, performs a little victory fist punch, smirks.
Nels, now outraged: ” – and we have USELESS NIPPLES!”
Phoenix: “Mom. Did you know that 50% of the word ‘Canada’ is the letter ‘A’?”
Nels, without missing a beat: “Along with ‘banana’.” [ takes a satisfied slurp of his milkshake ]
There’s not enough rest, food, and coffee for me to keep up with their brains.