This morning I awoke amidst the three others in my family, burrowed under blankets on a large mattress Pangaea on the floor of my kids' room. These measures are necessary because we are currently having our house interior painted and sleeping in a freshly-painted room is, well, kind of gross and scary. That's OK because I am secretly (or not-so-secretly) a big fan of family-sleeping. So last night I was only too thrilled to move a TV into the kids' room and watch a movie (a "conventional but entertaining sports flick" indeed - I'm coming to believe the Disney sports films - The Rookie, Invincible, etc. - are my version of other women's romantic comedies - which I don't watch - perhaps because they are always well-crafted, contain a good period soundtrack, and are comforting, formulaic, and only mildly emotionally moving), a late-night snack, and all-night family snuggle.

This morning I disentangle myself from the litter and start coffee; Ralph and Nels soon follow in waking up and while I shower Nels lays on the floor whinging as Ralph washes breakfast dishes (apparently being hungry for ten minutes in the morning is an existential nightmare for our son). After getting dressed I snuggle next to my daughter's sweet body and we lie in bed quietly for a while. Then she starts talking, whispering to me of a purple dragon, a dragon "that saves people". She sits up cross-legged and holds her hands in front of her, meshes the fingers to cup someone gently, and tells me the creature has long claws to hold people, as she talks she is gazing off, remembering. "The dragon had a very friendly face," she breathes, her smile beatific.

Today has been a near-madhouse of activity, mostly including family events - playschool responsibilities, Halloween costumes, trick-or-treating - and significantly hampered by having the house torn apart for painting. But yes, I got all my Halloween sewing done, easy. And don't think I'm not thrilled that I have had emails asking me to post photos! And you would think I'd get to breathe a breath of relaxation now the Halloween sewing is done. My last day of my sewing workshops is tomorrow, however - so I have to prepare for that. Zippers. Funsies.


Nocturnal animals in my car, from the other night's late-night grocery run. Which I and the kids enjoy. Note Nels' many layers of scarf, which he wore all night without even toppling over.

Labels: chaos, family life, film, homesteading, Nels, sewing, tenderness

Today I went to our County Library which has a very lovely preschooler story hour. There were so many friends and acquaintances there. Unfortunately for whatever reputation I may have, and for my own piece of mind, my kids were fucking savages while we were there. Nels sat for exactly two minutes, then wandered around fondling Mamas' asses (accidentally, I hope), then found some wooden cars and skateboarded on them (quite well, actually. I may have to buy him a real skateboard). Sophie was great (if a little hyper) until the other parents and kids filed out of the room at the end of the event and she stopped in her tracks and yelled, "They're leaving without me!" and threw her head back and her mouth opened into a big square and she HOWLED at the top of her lungs. I guess she wasn't ready for fun-time to be over.

Hours later while at home I noticed she wasn't wearing panties under her skirt. I wonder how many of the couple dozen PT Mama friends there today got an eyeful of Sophie's punani.

These things made me laugh today:


Whoops!

and Me loves the Steve Carell. So much.

Labels: hilarity, humiliation, random potty-mouth

Today after a breakfast out (I begged Ralph and he only begrudgingly agreed) we took the family to Slobberdale so I could buy fabric. Because I am a huge frakin' sewing dork. This year for Halloween my daughter is going to be a Corpse Bride so I have to get crackin' (Nels' "Ice Bat" is all done). I just got home with my fabrics and pattern, threw the kids in bed, washed the fabric while cutting out the pattern:


(Butterick 4887) for her gown. I'm doing a lace overlay and a tulle peplum and currently cutting out tulle and it's really, really weird stuff. Oh, should this be going on my sewing blog? Too fucken bad!

In other news, ever since Girls' Movie Night (v. October '06) I can't stop thinking about Patrick Swayze. And not in a pervy way, either. More an intrigued way. Why doesn't he work much these days? Why has he aged less like a person and more like a sleek rock formation? How did he get away with his hair for so long? Why doesn't he have a better ass? I just told Ralph to go rent me another Swayze film - I gave him a trifecta of choices in order of my preference. "And," I said, "If those three are all out, then someone in this town loves Swayze more than us - and we should just back off."

Labels: geekery, homesteading, sewing, swayze

My movie night went well.



Nothing like a little 80's beefcake and very, very cheesy (yet fun) film. Everyone brought lots of great Mexican food, beer, wine, etc.

In honor the Mexican potluck thing, I also made these (only very marginally are they "Mexican"):

Pumpkin Enchiladas

1 ~4 lb. sugar pumpkin
2 cups sour cream
3 cups shredded gouda (divided, 2 cups and 1 cup)
2 jalapenos, ribbed, seeded, and minced
4 tablespoons butter
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon masa harina flour
1 teaspoon salt
2 cans red enchilada sauce
20 corn tortillas
oil for frying

Preheat oven to 425. Wash pumpkin. Cut into large wedges, scrape out sides. Roast skin-sides down for about 40 minutes. Take out, allow to cool.

Meanwhile, saute garlic in butter. Add masa harina and stir until thickened. Add sour cream and 2 cups of gouda. Stir until all is melted. Set aside.

Take pumpkin and peel off skins, put flesh in food processor and process until smooth, about 1 minute. Mix with salt and jalapenos, set aside.

Preheat oven to 350. Wet bottom of large baking pan with some sauce. Soften tortillas in oil (one at a time). Put about 2 tablespoons pumpkin mix and 1 1/2 tablespoons cheese roux in each. Roll and place seam-side down. Pour sauce over and top with.

Bake 40 minutes, covered. Allow to set for 5 minutes; serve.

Labels: film, food, friends, homesteading, swayze

"Nice man, nice!"

Neil, this is for you. And no, I haven't seen Episode III yet, because I still maintain I and II sucked too hard.

Labels: film, friends, geekery

Today I woke up in worse shape than I was two days ago. My throat, my sinuses - congested, scratchy, ill. Yuck. This morning at least I am blessed with plenty of sleep and no hangover. At 7:30 I slide out of bed (kids still sleeping) and head to the kitchen. Start coffee for my husband and I and some breakfast for my kids to warm in the oven (they wake up voraciously hungry and a proactive breakfast is something I can throw at them in self defense, like jars of peanut butter at voracious doberman shepherds from some movie I saw once).

About 8 o'clock after Ralph has left and I've caught up on email and am contemplating sitting down and resting (I've done the math and I believe I do this about every 2.6 days) when I hear whispers from the hallway - Sophie coaxing Nels about something. I open the door to their bedroom to see my children, tousle-haired, pj'd, asking for Mama. I know the drill. I take my coffee and put it on the coffee table; sit on the couch. Nels crawls up on my left side, Sophie furnishes the blanket and tucks herself on my right. The three of us sit there quietly for minutes. I stroke their backs and the length of their strong, sturdy little legs; their little hands pet me. The smell on the top of Nels' head is something lovely and indefinable. It is part shampoo, part health, part sleep, part uniquely and wondrously my Son.

I realize as I sit there with them that I have some sort of precious commodity. I have a treasure that I did not altogether ask for, nor did I quite win like a lottery. It isn't the only treasure in the world nor the most glamorous. I do not deserve it entirely, based on merit, but many others (more deserving?) do not have what I have. These creatures curled up on my lap depend on me, love me, and are forever connected to me. Nothing could break the programming within them that causes them to find my arms, my voice, my smell to be the most Home they could ever hope to find.

A couple hours later and I'm home doing dishes by myself. My daughter is at school; my son with Abbi who is watching him for me as I take a more restful morning than I would normally have. In this way too I am fortunate, benefiting from friends who are also raising their young children. Abbi and I are sometimes like dual wives; daily bringing food, clothing, children's books and knitware back and forth to one another. Just a phone call away from help, commiseration.

Tonight for dinner: Beef-in-Guinness (courtesy of a lovely brisket from Sunny Farms*), potatoes, cabbage, and carrots. We are sharing our meal with a friend and her daughter. Home-cooking and loved ones all around.

* This website cheerily claims, "a row of registers along the front of the store helps keep customer wait time to a minimum" - what they don't tell you is that there is no frakin' room to wheel your cart, and that several of your fellow cart-using customers will glare at YOU as if this is your fault. It's the weirdest vibe.

Labels: family life, food, friends, homesteading, Nels, Sophie, tenderness

I'm sick today. Only a slight sore throat, but a lot more debilitating is the accompanying depression / tiredness. I did several hours of paperwork / bill-paying today and it seems like that was an unfortunate choice as it only made me more weary. As I write this my husband and children are at our friends' place - friends whose loveliness and graceful hospitality I feel too wretched to sully with my appearance and demeanor.

I put in a call to a girlfriend tonight to see if she wanted to sit on my couch and watch a movie or something equally as low-key. She hasn't called back yet, and as I sit here I become less and less interested in doing anything, speaking with a fellow member of the human race, or even putting pants on.

I've had this picture up in one of my Firefox tabs for the last few hours. A friend of mine said she thinks my husband looks like him (it's Martin Freeman as Tim in the BBC's "The Office"). I keep accidentally clicking on it and getting this quasi-serious staredown from a cute British Ralph doppleganger.

Labels: burnout

We had about 12 Ladies last time. Who can guess the movie I'm going to show? Mysteries, mysteries...

Labels: film, food, friends

My son woke up from his nap, ate half his weight in pizza, and then climbed on my lap and insisted I sing him a song. Then another. And another. He sat perfectly still, alternatively staring at the monitor (where my iTunes visualizer swirled) or clinging to my neck with his arms, pressing his cheek to mine to hear my voice. I sang him oldies:

"Be My Baby" by the Ronettes
"Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" Frankie Vali
"Will you still love Me Tomorrow?" The Shirelles
"Needles and Pins" The Searchers
"Little Red Riding Hood" Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs


"I love you baby! And if it's quite alright I need you baby..."

You know, I honestly can't think of anything I'd rather do.

Labels: family life, Nels, tenderness

This morning my parents, the dog Tuck, Nels and I walk Sophie to school. My son is sedate and measured in his walk - unlike his usual spastic running. The sun shines through the apple tree at my neighbors and my dad fetches my son an apple which he holds but won't eat yet. After we get home I do the breakfast dishes. My mom and I are planning to do some canning (with the tongs, rack, and pot my father so sweetly bought me) so I'm getting my kitchen ready while my mom makes up a grocery list for my father. I ask my dad to take Nels to the store with him; he flat-out refuses. "He'd love to go!" I suggest. "No," my dad flatly shakes his head. I head back into the kitchen and mutter, "They say it takes a village..." and my mom finishes, "Yeah, a village of girls."

Soon my mom and I are in the kitchen, canning tomatoes from her garden and listening to "The Best of The Ronettes" while Nels totally fakes it as if he is perennially the Perfect Child - blissfully petting the cat up on the attic bed, putting his boots off and on, holding make-believe with his toys calmly in the corner, putting my buttons back in their glass jar after sorting them (I can only surmise he is keeping his image up for Grandma). Soon there are five pints of tomatoes on my counter and it's time to get my daughter from school. Out to the beach where we have sandwiches and pickles and my kids run on the beach with their grandfather walking behind.

We get home to naps and some sewing on Nels' Halloween costumes. Tonight we'll be barbecuing dinner out at the beach with my folks, then Ralph and I get to have a date together.

Labels: family life, FOO, food, homesteading, Nels, the Ghost of Christmas Bastard

"Via con Dios, El 'Faggot'!"

Labels: fags, hilarity

Life the last week.


Sr. Mysterioso is my kitchen muse. He watches all with a knowing smile.


My son was very grumpy when he woke up from his nap the day after Billy's arrival. Yes, I cut his hair recently. He is now looking more like a boring-arsed Little Boy instead of my fey little elf-maiden.


1 dinosaur suit and a snack later, he was good to go.


Evening: pumpkin carving ala Ralph. Who is that lurking on the attic stairs?

On Wednesday my brother, daughter and I journied to the Serpentarium in Monroe, Wa.


The mamba is my favorite snake. Because I picked it that way after a couple lines in one of my favorite novels.


Of course Sophie handled snakes. Gee, you think? She was a blur of light for one hour, racing around the room and looking at everything. Many specimens that would eat her if given half a chance.


The alligator snapped at my brother and I think he peed his pants a little, but he wouldn't admit it.


This thing has the face of evil. The head is pretty much life-size in this picture - about 4 1/2 inches across. And it had two-inch fangs. I liked snakes more before I saw this one.


Back at home, at the park. One block from our house. My kids are running at me about to jump on me in that way where their foot hits me in the groin, etc.

Today's word: GLOBSTER.

Labels: birlo, family life, Nels, SCIENCE, Sophie

Well, I just snapped at a perfectly decent human being. And I think it was a pregnant one, carrying a gift for someone else. Yeah, I'm an asshole. See, I was dropping off a gift at a baby shower because I wasn't able to attend and this nice-looking young woman who was dressed lovely and smelled like flowers asked me to park somewhere else, and I fixed her with the dead-eye and said, "I'm not staying", practically hissing like some cretinous Gorgon sister. It wasn't her or what she said; she caught me at a bad time. Then she proceeded to back down on the parking thing, she introduced herself, and then said, "It's nice to meet you." I felt about two inches tall and hideous.

Yes, today is one of those days you don't want to cross me. Or don't even want to try to say anything to me unless it's something like, "Hey, can I help you carry that?" or "You look nice today." That's right, I'm being a bitch. Now I know I joke about being a bitch all the time but I never mean it, because anyone who knows me knows I'm not really. I guess I should stop saying it because it cheapens days like today where I've just about had enough and I extend my regrets to anyone who's going to run across me and I really, really want people to give me a break and not annoy me. But they keep doing it.

Part of my problem may be a slightly heightened sense of schedule and responsibility. My brother is visiting. This is a good thing, except that it's hard for me to have company. I mentally "hover" over the person(s), especially if they're not someone I can trust to help me care for my kids. And it's really a mental holdover of my own, not a reflection of the capabilities or willingness of my guest(s), who are always happy to help I'm sure. Whatever it is, it sucks.

Once in my life I have actually taken a "time out" from my visitor: I basically said, "You need to entertain yourself for a while. I'm going to sew." In that case my friend was probably relieved to have a break. But it's hard for me to do. As I type this now my brother and son are upstairs playing on the computer and I feel guilty. Not guilty for neglecting my son, which I do regularly, but guilty for not providing 100% appropriate entertainment for my guest. This is dumb because this guest, like most, does not need this from me.

An IM from my husband: he is going to be home late. He doesn't know when. Yay! More good news.

Labels: birlo, chaos, FOO, i'm a hater

This morning- I don't know how it happened - but I woke up next to an angel. She had gone to bed with her brother the evening before but how she's lying next to me in bed and her soft hand is petting me. I open my eyes and she says, "I love you Mama." Her face is just inches from mine. Her eyes are clear and large. Some alchemy of Ralph's reddish-brown depth and my lighter green and dark lashes and her skin is calm and clear from sleep. Her skin is flawless: the only imperfection a very small scratch, barely visible, on her freckle-dusted nose. Her tresses fall around me, clean and sweet smelling and I think of the song lyric: your hair upon the pillow / like a sleeping golden storm. She yawns and even her breath is sweet. Her belly peaks out from under her black cotton shirt: a long, white, lean tummy. She twines her legs around me. I love it when she shares my bed, because like me she likes to talk for a while before getting up. Her last words before sleep and her first words in the morning are always of Love.

Later in the day this same girl runs downstairs with a new Snake Body book - a thrift store purchase by my husband. She slams open the book and jabs a finger, wordless. To a six-page photo spread of a snake graphically swallowing a bird chick. She tells me to read every word.

Labels: Sophie, tenderness