Today we sojourned over 11 miles* on the new bike - loading up on groceries all the way. A dozen farm eggs at the Farmer's Market; cotton balls, q-tips, two packages elastic, 2 1/2 yards fabric, ribbon,** nail polish remover, 2 packs baking soda, 1 gallon milk (for cheese) at Walmart; chives, minneola oranges, cherry tomatoes, english cucumber at Jay's; 2 packages soba, rose buds, misting bottle, pistachios, black pepper, four muslin bags at the Market Place; a stop for brown bag lunch and coffee at the Coffee Bean Cafe with purchase of a pound of their Costa Rican coffee beans; 1 yard interfacting at Quilt Harbor; edamame, butter, Nancy's honey yogurt, canola oil, rennet, tweezers at Swansons.

At Swansons, our last stop, I finally admit to myself I'm kind of a weirdo when with my children off our Bag Lady Bike I find myself asking for vegetarian rennet for tomorrow's cheesemaking adventure. "Whut's that?" the meat department gal squints at me disbelievingly. "I've never heard of it." Guess what, they had it - or a close enough approximation anyway.

Turns out a day on the bike running errands is so very, very much more fun than doing them in a car. Part of it is the ebb and flow of companionship with my children; they help unload the panniers, hold the bike for one another, and pass out helmets to all. Sophie straps Nels' feet into his footholds, even when they come loose and I pull over and she has to hop off to do so. I have a feeling their enthusiasm won't wane; part of this is they know they are responsible for a great deal of what goes into riding the bike (for instance, they have to hang on, they have to decide how much clothing to wear, they tell me where to go, and - best of all! their little left arms stick out from the side of the bike to signal my turn intentions!). I did ditch Sophie off the back twice though, and I think a few motorists probably thought I was a colossal asshole. I told myself I was still learning.

Today's last ride was taken in companionable silence a few minutes ago in a very, very cold night chill, as Sophie and I returned from my parents' house after dinner. We were in the door at 9:56 PM.

And by the way, despite all the groceries loaded up under her legs Sophie didn't so much as scratch a single egg.

* Please note - there is actually a detour in effect that renders the west-side HQX part of this map incorrect; Google Maps wouldn't let me go the wrong way down a one-way street.

** These last two items are for tomorrow's sewing / art project w/kids.

Labels: bike, roadtrip, Sophie

By 9 AM, done: made beds, fed kids, got two chocolate pound cakes in the oven, messed up the kitchen.

To do: groceries, library, make a big dinner for company, maybe get some topsoil.

Labels: food, weekend

3/28/08 2:15 PM: date and time that my precious, precious X joined the family. I feel superstitious and odd about it though because, A. it isn't fully paid off (but will be soon!); B. heck, even when it's paid off it was a lot of money!; C. I haven't put it on the front of the bus yet (have to try that out at the bus barn and hopefully while it's not snowing); and D. I'm still getting used to the very different handling of this new vehicle.

Sophie was still at school when I loaded Nels up and went off on the inaugural run to get groceries. It was literally hailing, I was in the lowest gear (I didn't realize this at first) and wobbling, and I could hear Terry (Bike Shop Guy) behind me making nervous, doubtful sounds as I rounded the corner. Once I sorted the gears things went better. The bike felt long and strange - even though I'm used to a much longer tail (vis-a-vis trailer - but obviously there is a "bend" in the trailer set-up). Nels up behind me instead of on two wheels on the ground felt odd but he seemed to really enjoy it. We hit Swansons and I kind of wondered around the place getting groceries, still excited about the bike (we bought Ralph some Jones Soda and the rest of tonight's repast).

From there we headed home, briefly warmed up inside and went off to get Sophie. The hail had subsided but the wind and cold were fierce. Adding another kid to the bike felt very wobbly and odd but the little monkey mounted, dismounted, and held on perfectly. The little kiddos will need gloves for sure as the elements were very, very rough.

This morning Nels took a tomato start to his teacher (actually his substitute teacher who was filling in during maternity leave; today was her last day) and I sent two to a couple AmeriCorp students Ralph knows at GHC.

The weather may not have tuned into this fact - but Spring is indeed here!

Labels: bike, garden, Nels, newness, rain, school, Sophie, weather, X

Today I felt defeated by the end of the day. Really, I'd had successes and I'd had good times but somehow around 4:30 I deflated with a big, listless pfffffthbh.

Maybe it was that I'd left my bike guy with the go-ahead to drill holes and install a piece of wood to part of my new bike work. I dunno, that took the starch out of me a bit; but it had to be done.


The Bike Shop has some excellent systems for running smoothly. Here's the thing, it's so incredibly cluttered and crazy yet Terry will never lose even your tiniest set screw (although it might take him a minute to find it).


Sophie makes do in the Lariat while we wait for our keys to be re-delivered to us. It has been so very, very cold - alternating between sunny, sleet, rain and wind.

Highlights of the day:

Cleaning up my sewing room (yay!) but even more meaningful, once again moving my tomato starts to an even sunnier spot and making a hallowed little place for them (tonight my mom asked if I'd named each one). I think growing green things might keep me cheerful this spring.

Driving next to Nels and listening to our latest download (Alicia Keys' "As I Am") while he puts his arms around me and sings to me.

Getting a coupon for free bread at the Franz outlet - what a creepy yet almost wondrous place that is! Nels got a "Cookie Credit Card", an ingenious marketing ploy to inspire children to pester overworked parents to stop in for mass-produced refined grains.

Making dinner, despite being so tired I didn't want to.

Having dinner with the kids; simple fare (homemade pizza dough with layered cheese; roasted brussel sprouts, sauteed tomatoes and squash) but so nice to see their joy in eating and pouring their own beverages from their little pitcher of water.

My husband trying to take care of me. He doesn't always know how much I appreciate this.

Labels: bike, food, gratitude, Mama's crazy, Nels, Ralph, Sophie, sorrows, weather

We had an outdoorsy day today: from taking a 9 mile roundtrip to get Nels from school straight to the bike shop where Terry and I (mostly Terry, although the kids and I were there for a lot of it and I even helped and learned parts of my bike, yay!) Franken-biked my Giant into an Xtracycle! Since my bike was torn apart before my eyes this involved me finding a way in poor weather to Sophie's school and back home without wheels - in horizontal rain for part of it. Bitar's Bike Shop is also slightly colder than the outdoors, and the outdoors were cold. Short story, it's almost 9 PM and I'm still not warmed up.

The bike conversion is - so far - as lovely as I'd hoped. As in, I might have trouble sleeping tonight. In Bitars as I removed parts from the box I gazed upon them and fondled these parts (Oh, sleek Snap Deck!) as if they were so much excellent and rare porn, finally delivered into my hands after a seeming lifetime of waiting. The Xtracycle was fun; the g-d euro child's bikeseat (I shall not name specifically and therefore print libel here about the annoying setup instructions) ended up taking us past 6:30 PM and Terry's departure time so my S.U.B. will not be street-ready until tomorrow (pictures later; I'm kind of exhausted). I'm hoping dearly for a better day than today's offerings (of which I had to bike, walk, bus with children) but I will test-ride that thing come rain or shine.

Oh, and Monday I was interviewed on by a college student (with his ladyfriend taking photos) for some coursework that involves Sure Nail & Fire. My zine is being featured as a small-town effort extolling the virtues of Harbor life; I listened to my interview today. I was really impressed with the editing job, especially after the NPR experience and how much coaching that entailed for just a short blurb; and considering Monday's relatively low-fi recording device. For the record both interviewer E. and his girlfriend (photographer) K. were the most charming, sweet visitors we've had in a while. Smart and easy to talk to as well as cute as if kittens could be made into people (I bite my tongue to not refer wistfully to their youth).

Labels: bike, GH, HQX, rain, SNF, weather, writing, zine

Don't tattle on me, but I drove my dad's Ford Lariat XLT today. I think it was meant to be as the thing's tape deck works and, this morning upon plugging in the iPod, my one Bob Seger song came on ("You'll Accompany Me", obtained for the purpose of the excellent mix tape "Stalkin' Rockin'"). The truck feels about one city block wide. I had more sympathy for the huge-ass trucks that somehow manage to not run me down on the bike.

I love having the iPod in the car and later in the day the guilty pleasures playlist continued. Nels joined me for grocery errands in the afternoon whiel Sophie stayed home with a still-sick Ralph. Nels is, oddly, interested in club and dance fare which I have in limited fashion (mostly Beyonce and Timberlake's latest). It's truly frightening because in no way have I encouraged this yet he finds these songs and memorizes them. Today it was Nelly Futado's "Promiscuous"* and DJay and Shug's rendition of "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" - the latter of which he scrolled through the iPod to find while I was inside the house for a few minutes! I think it's the drum machine intro that lets him know he's in for some campy goodness.

I on the other hand felt free to put on Muse's "Bliss" and belt out in my horrifically-bad falsetto (I don't think Ralph likes Muse but I really, really do so I listen to them when on my own). Nels enjoys the distortion guitar crunch far less than the tribal beats and hooks of hip-hop / dance production, but he's willing to give me a chance, asking the name of each song and sometimes, what it's about. The truly amazing thing is he can remember lyrics and elements of a song after only one repetition. And he doesn't mind how loud I turn it up.

* In fact as I typed this entry, he came and found me post-nap and asked for this again which he is now calling his "favorite song".

** today, to "11".

Labels: illness, music, Nels, roadtrip

My husband has been lying in bed sick, or under some general malaise, since early this afternoon; it was left to me to prepare Easter dinner (BLTs with homemade white bread, deviled eggs, carrot sticks, olives, fancy pretzels, hot tea), pick up tomato starts, entertain the children, do the preschool's laundry, tidy the house, and make these:


Please excuse the crappy Photo Booth shot; these turned out as beautiful as the tutorial indicates.

Happy Easter, all!

Labels: food geekery, garden, holidays, illness, Ralph

http://www.dothetest.co.uk/

Labels: bike, hilarity

Tonight we have guests for dinner. I'm making a bunch of Mexican food including camarones, a defiant seafood purchase (Ralph hates anything that flops around in the ocean - except, oddly, tuna sandwiches - the more ghetto the better).

Yesterday I biked a little over nine miles with the kids - and groceries. My trip got heavier and heavier, and windier and windier (the rain was pretty much a constant). Plus there were these bright ideas I had at the middle Swansons of picking up - on a whim - self-rising flour, buttermilk, and tinned goods - thereby adding massive amounts to my payload.



I had a dream last night my Xtracycle was up and running. It was almost pornographic.

Labels: bike, food

My daughter's kindergarten homework gives evidence of something I used to do myself: intellectually twiddle my thumbs by embellishing schoolwork easily mastered. Examples: having filled out a grid with numbers one through one hundred, Sophie will go back and embellish each void space within the numerals 6, 8, 9 and 0; she will write notes in the margins or put flourishes in her name. Even on an occasion last week she corrected an error in the homework itself. Volunteering in her classroom I have not seen any other child do this to the extent she does.

However her intellectual prowess, such as it is, does not manifest in boredom or ennui in a way that is easily detected or even harmful. In fact she is cheerful enough to go to school and fine sitting on the carpet being not-challenged by the academic exercises. She enjoys her social time and navigates confidently. She has learned bullying behaviors and how to be an Alpha Female; that is, rude to some of her other classmates although quick to say "sorry" and respect her teacher's authority. She seems to like all subjects. Last Friday while getting ready she said, "I have P.E. today," then paused... "so I need some sweats." As if kindergarten physical education needs to be geared for.

Still, today I notice that her abbreviated day at school (8:30 to 11:15 AM, cut short for conferences) seems to result in her being less keyed-up and more receptive to the remainder of the day's activities: visiting the bike shop (a new kickstand and - ding! ding! ding! - my xtracycle parts are in!), having lunch in a cafe with my mom and a friend, stopping at the library, and finally, returning home to start our dinner with Nels and I (he is always willing and able to be a great help in the kitchen). This latter exercise was the most fun for me. All three of us took our knives to trimming green beans and carrots and did the dishes together afterwards. That done we retired to my bed to each of us to read silently for a while which in turn made me too sleepy to do much of anything else until Ralph returned home and I biked the four or so miles to this evening's preschool Board meeting.

It's only spring, and the beginning of spring at that, but already I long for the long days of summer with my children in my house and out of doors.

Labels: books, food, Nels, school, Sophie

I've been reluctant to write much about my hours spent in my children's schools, but the fact is I spend a lot of time with my children in their educational environments and I think about those environments a great deal. Today I performed my Monday morning shift in Suse's kindergarten class along with a substitute teacher. I was surprised to find the typically well-behaved twenty plus children suddenly turn into rowdy, loud, inconsiderate pupils. And like some kind of virus, the misbehavior was not able to be contained by the substitute nor even a little speech of my own (listened to respectfully at least).

Sophie's teacher impresses me because she has established control of the classroom. Her first few weeks of class were spent almost solely on behavioral issues, the benefit of which is that almost two dozen small children typically experience a safe and ordered environment. But as I herded them into their lunch line today it occurred to me that staying in the public school system meant - besides the occasional luck of a great teacher - my kids would probably have many, many days like this one - an atmosphere of chaos above order, busywork above engagement, admonishment from adults rather than curiosity, expecations, and mutual respect.

My Monday work is typically in helping children with an art project. The time and energy that goes into each project is incredible, yet I notice in the classroom setting each child typically doesn't have enough time to carry out the project in a way that informs him or her in their own interest and skills (or lack thereof). Because of this time constraint my favorite art project this year was an uber-simple project of picking out clippings for magazines (high school assistant J. and I pre-cut animals from National Geographics) and gluing three of them to a piece of paper divided into sections. In this case the project was simple enough I got to talk to each child about their choice of animal and layout; an artistic and relational growing process in my mind far superior to the sometimes more elaborate products we produce by giving curt directions and doing half the work for the child.

Any discussion about my children's school environments isn't nearly so much a criticism of the system or a worry about my children's experiences as it is a learning experience for me. I think it's a sign of my deferment to authority I've always believed school is a given establishment that is for The Good and therefore is itself Good - that is, sometimes children misbehave or have a horrid time there but, all in all, The System Knows Best (P.S. I know exactly which parent I co-opted this concept from). It is so odd I find myself realizing the system is, well, relatively arbitrary. Do I have the courage to think for myself what I want for my family and myself when society around me has been encouraging me to take advantage of the free babysitting provided by the state?

It's lighter in the early morning hours. I have learned Spring weather in Grays Harbor is capricious, at turns sunny and brilliant, ominous, or dismally wet. The thrilling rains of Fall have given way to the saturating showers of spring, keeping our backyard wet, wet, wet in the interim before the sky opens up again.

Labels: GH, school, weather

Time slows down on the bike. Today I started the day with sewing machine loaded up in the trailer and lengths of fabric, heading off to my mom's to sew on a quilt (for my son's school's yearly auction). She and I set up in the kitchen and talked and hummed along on our two machines, taking breaks for coffee and to steam-press newly-sewn seams before sitting back down for another round of stitching. Nels joined us after preschool and happily retired to the living room to help Grandpa with a puzzle until it was time for us to hit a diner for lunch.

After eating and chatting with the waitresses it was off in the sunshine to pick up my daughter; we're early so once Nels and I get off the bike and unpack helmets and walk in to the school for Suse, why not let the kids stay and play on the playground for a few minutes? Not something I feel inclined to do when I'm in the pickup line, dutifully driving through the roundabout and pausing to have my child inserted in the car (I've seen other parents stay uninterrupted on cell phone calls during this operation). On the swings I permit myself a foray into Andrew Bird (must... stop... listening to incessantly!) on my new [late] birthday present from Ralph (variety: purple).

Time slows down enough that, say, you suddenly realize you had a date ten minutes ago in Aberdeen and can't possibly make it (shit!). Or enough that you don't jet home for the day and therefore miss a phone message canceling tonight's hosted dinner at friends' house, due to friends' illnesses. Therefore my joke in arriving at our friends' house (smoking a cigarette while biking, observed more often than you might think in GH) is completely lost on the hosts, afflicted with equal parts plague and guilt. Home for a quick plan and make-up of evening repast.

Labels: Aberdeen, bike, GH, Grazdma, sewing, the Ghost of Christmas Bastard

Our bed is a fishing net; you don't know what it will catch by morning. Sometimes it's just me, alone, as Ralph has had a sleepless night wandering the house. Usually I find children in it. This morning found both of them clinging, one to a side, with their arms around my neck and their faces softly pressed against me. The black cat, encouraged there was affection to be had. hovered just by, making soft honking sounds through her nose (I think she has a deviated septum). I held each child with my arm around them and hand around their small upper arms. Their skin is perfect; their little arms so trusting and whole. Nels kissed and kissed and kissed me and when I looked down Love was shining in his face as he smiled up at me. Sophie stroked the hair out of my eyes with her confident, tender hands. I think the first thing I said when I opened my eyes is, "No one better kiss me on the lips," which of course they silently and smilingly did, their soft fragrant hair falling against my face. I thought that I'd given birth to these creatures that now supply me with love, a full feast, every day. What a smart plan I'd had!

This morning finds us off to Westport to pick up a Freecycle boon (I hope) of a vintage radio. We lost an hour of time this morning and I slept so well it felt like I'd absorbed it.

Labels: roadtrip, tenderness

I just received a call that a childhood friend's father died last night. It took a few seconds for me to even understand what I was hearing. I am so incredibly sad about this news in ways only my friend might truly know. To say more would be insensitive to the family's privacy.

Rest in peace, good sir.

Labels: goodbye

Lately I've spent some time noticing vehicles on the road. Man, they are large. Yesterday on our way to Olympia an Acura SUV thing idled behind me, the driver quick to hop on my ass as we traveled from stoplight to stoplight in the motorists' tedium that is downtown Aberdeen. In my rearview mirror I saw a man alone in the cab with his left shoulder up, draping his hand over the wheel of his Amazing Driving Machine and the other alternately on the phone or down out of sight, texting or fondling his balls or whatever. In front of me a Silverado rumbled as it spread it's huge asscheeks all over the road, easily larger than the Acura and laughing back at my seemingly miniature Mazda "light" pickup. And today on the road I saw some kind of Mazda - it looked like a car, but way bigger, or close up with a tiny person inside. This person sat well above the cab of my truck. These cars are huge but don't seem to boast a lot of room inside - they mostly just boast being big. I find myself wondering why we have so many gleaming, gigantic vehicles out and about, especially in an area that is said to be "economically depressed"? I guess I will start concerning myself with people whinging about gas prices when I see just a few fewer bewheamoths out on the road.

This morning on the bike I found a good route to get to Nels' school; ducking out of highway traffic and staying on a relatively quiet side-street for much of the ride. The route was nice; the bike ride not so much. It was clear but cold, with a head wind persistent enough that on mile two my legs stopped complaining and just did their drudgery dispiritedly, like listless indentured whores. Nels sat back in the trailer amidst winter coat, wicker basket full of juice and snacks, and a big quilt my mom sewed him several Christmases ago. He wasn't complaining.

It was quiet out and comforting enough. At the end of Cherry I hit a small snag and had to backtrack half a block for an alley. Finding my way back to a road I heard my son from the trailer: "You can do it, Mama. You can find my school!" I felt oddly heartened and touched by his cheerleading. An hour later when he was chosen in his classroom to describe today's weather, he put the weather dials to "windy" and "cold". I thought he was in a special position to know, having braved the elements with me.

On the way home he fell asleep; I aborted my shopping plan (only after I'd already parked, chained the bike, and removed my helmet to discover him in Slumberland, Population One) and headed home where I brought in his artwork, dirty laundry from the school, leftover juice bottles, and one sleeping boy to strip down and tuck in for the remainder of his snooze.

Sometimes - not when I lose my temper or get distracted doing my work - but sometimes, I wish I was my own mom, and I was a little kid who got to be taken care of by her.

Labels: Aberdeen, bike, Nels, roadtrip, tenderness, weather

Whatever bits of spare time I thought I had have been taken up by biking and sewing, both of which I've been doing quite a bit more. It is merely exhausting pulling my trailer of 100 or so pounds (kids, books, backpacks, groceries) and by the time I get home it's time to start dinner or finish the dishes or collapse on the bed and wish for a second wife in the family while I wait for my husband to rescue me from some of my work.

Yesterday Nels, E., and I biked down to the bus station to catch a bus to Aberdeen. We shopped for groceries at Safeway (the kids chose a car-like kid cart and were endlessly amused when I'd "drive" it crazily or recklessly) and packed half of the food into my backpack, half into one of those heinous plastic bags that cuts your palm to ribbon as you procced to walk across town. Physically carting one's own food around town definitely self-moderates any extra purchasing one might be tempted to do; however I can't bear the annoying extra expense of buying organic milk by the half-gallon.

After the grocery store we visited the local fabric shop for a bit; on next door where I sipped coffee in a cafe - the two children playing perfectly at an adjacent table - before walking the remaining seven blocks to E.s uptown school. The two little ones held up great and just before we got to the school we sat on a bench to have a snack and rest up. The walk and bus ride back home with Nels was less pleasant; I am prone to car sickness and it seems the bus system, already not without problems, hasn't quite learned to cope with our bridge detour. The result was an extra and unexpected (for me and several other passengers) three mile delay when I was already about to puke my guts. I grimly held on as Nels gamboled about in the backseat flirting with all who came into eye- or earshot. I was never happier to see the station and our locked- up bike apparatus as when I shakily stumbled off the bus and held my breath from the diesel fumes.

I have started to believe that Grays Harbor Transit is underdesigned and largely ignored by those who have the time and influence to improve it. For instance at last week's HBA meeting there was an anecdotal story about the bus system working well despite our detour - "working well" has not been my experience - and the conversation quickly turned as if we'd merely discussed an quaint irregularity; I'd wager not one other person at this meeting actually uses the system with any frequency. The schedule and routes don't seem to be built for commuting but rather for those who have no motorized means of transportation and are at the mercy of such a system. In my several times a week riding I do not observe daily white-collar commuters (my husband rides the bus an average of two days a week and reports the same) and I have never seen another white, middle/upper class mum on board. People I do see on the bus: the sick, elderly, morbidly obese, or suffering riding up the hill for medical treatment, those in drug or alcohol counseling programs, those working blue-collar jobs, users with fallen-in mouths, hooded eyes, and dubious personal hygiene, near-silent Latina women and their small children. I have overheard many, many stories of drug use, treatment, and court (in fact, one woman sitting by me yesterday became agitated at the unexpected delay as she was required to be in court at a certain time). I have seen people with plastic bags of their own clothes or cheap Walmart goods huddled in their seat and scarfing food down, their skin tone poor and their eyes tired. People trading stories of methadone, roomates who've ripped them off; last week a woman asking another casually, "What are you then? An alcoholic or something?" as if inquiring about a fraternal organization. I feel like an anomoly on the bus.

In any case it doesn't make sense, I suppose, for the bus system to improve. Even with gas prices rising as they are people are still freely choosing driving as a means of transport. Neither are many carpooling; in my biking about town I've taken to counting cars and have found over 80% of car trips to be passenger-free.

Other perils of bussing and biking; I went so long without driving our van that a tiny, tiny light left on managed to drain the battery over the period of three days. Whoops!

Labels: babysitting, bike, bus, GH, paying gig