Today was an odd, ephemeral and lovely day for the most part, consisting of an enjoyable afternoon out first on the bike, then to lunch and grocery shopping with my parents and my children. I can usually only hope to steal my mother away for daily errands in between the events in her busy schedule (said "busyness" sometimes consisting of just being around the house for my dad - it's very sweet, they like hanging out with each other and almost no one else). And of the four members of my FOO I'm the only one who likes going out to eat (not strictly true: my brother likes eating out but is so tight-fisted with cash he simultaneously judges others or feels guilty himself upon indulging), so it's rare I have enthusiastic partners in this endeavor.

I may sound like I'm poking fun of my family but the truth is I enjoy spending time with them near as much as my own wee foursome. One of the chief good trappings of this day was that my father came along with us. He has been feeling better, despite new tumor growths in his lungs and bones. His good spirits seem largely due to the fact he's had more than two months off chemo (his choice). It's sad to see him off chemo because chemo keeps him alive (albeit tortured and sick). It's almost, in its way, even sadder to see his hair thicken and his skintone liven and his skinny 6' 3" frame gain a few pounds. He starts to look startlingly good. I look at him and think to myself, imagine how healthy and hale he would be now without cancer treatment these last eight years. This is almost the worst kind of thought to think because it takes me back to What Could Have Been, a place I for the most part abandoned and don't often glance at.

I feel oddly exhausted to recount a strange episode from this morning that almost ruined my day: we were visited by a gentleman from DSHS on an issue of child welfare - in fact my child, Nels. On Saturday afternoon my son had ventured out (in the nintey-plus degree heat making him restless, I suppose) two blocks afield and was asking neighbors for food and drink. A neighbor brought him back straight away (after feeding him bottled water and Pop Tart) and spoke to Ralph, who apologized for the trouble and thanked the neighbor for bringing our son home. My husband was pissed - cranky from the heat, angry at Nels for wandering off, irritated at me for - I'm not sure what. Because I know Nels and know there's little we can do except to talk to him about what he shouldn't do and why. But anyone suggesting we "make" him forgo venturing off on his own on some too-grown, precocious endeavor (harmless or otherwise)? Bitch, you don't know my son!

So imagine my mild surprise, then shock, then bemusement, offense, and small dark cloud of rage forming between my eyes when a stranger showed up and wanted to look at the state of my housekeeping, the food in my fridge, and the nurturing conditions and mental stimulus afforded my children (all of which were running smoothly, of course). Here's the weird thing: of course I support these programs and am glad to see what I saw operating in Grays Harbor County this morning. And in theory I tell myself I wouldn't judge nor place myself above the parent who would benefit from these services. But I found out today it's another thing entirely to have them at my own doorstep.

The gentleman interrupted the kids and I as we were studying world atlases and preparing dough for chocolate croissants (the food tying into the geography lessons: croissants from France, as pointed out on the map, and chocolate from - usually - South America). The social worker - who was completely professional, matter-of-fact, and friendly, none of which made the incident less unpleasant - told me the call was from someone (maybe the neighbors who'd returned Nels, maybe not - who knows?) who had reported this was a "drug-addled" neighborhood (WTF?). The sole purpose of his visit seemed to be - besides "checking us out", which had included a call to law enforcement - informing us of services we could take advantage of. In fact at no point did I hear an admonishment or feel chastised in any way; rather, I'd seen a window into institutional procedure based around helping people help themselves. This was an odd relief and in accordance with what I would want from social work at large. Still, I couldn't help wonder: what if my fridge had been empty? What if my house was a pit, or I had a sick kid, or what if Nels runs off again?

Before the social worker left I sat my son on my lap and explained briefly that it's a lot of trouble (for me), drama (for me), and paperwork (for Mr. DSHS) brought down on us for a four-year old to venture off like that, even once. I don't think we made it too heavy-handed.

I know Nels couldn't have known that for me the incident sparked this terrifying, irrational, yet nevertheless thoroughly soul-sickening feeling of the loss of one's child, a fear that lives in the bottom third of my heart no matter waking or sleeping and pumps a noxious cold blood-substitute whenever circumstances hint toward anything of the kind.

Labels: FOO, Mama's crazy, neighbors, Nels, nerves, random, the Ghost of Christmas Bastard

I've been working my way through Hitchcock films and have decided I want to live in a Hitchcockian universe. Especially delicious was my recent viewing of Dial M For Murder. Ray Milland!* I loved him so very much as a villain, maybe more than I've liked any villain. (- note, all trailers are a bit spoiler-ish and I wouldn't watch them if you haven't already seen the films):



Dial M was recommended by a moviephile I met after I told him I'd recently viewed - and re-viewed, and loved - North by Northwest (below trailer is a re-vamp on movie trailer styling, me likey):



Up next for me (I've already seen it, but want to again):



I just want to live in a world where, say, I'm recovering from gallavanting around on clandestine capers and I have beautiful slacks and shirts and patent leather shoes delivered to me in boxes and I whip them on and slip out the window to catch a cab and rescue my love and not only that, but later on I've had the foresight such that I can pull out of my impeccable pockets not only a matchbook and handkerchief with my monogram but also a tiny, useful pencil for dispatching secret messages in a pinch. And yeah, I'm Cary Grant. But also somehow, I get to make out with Cary Grant too. Look, it all works in my mind, see?

* And, um, OMG. I like Ray Milland, and I like Rosey Grier, and until now I had no idea they put their considerable combined prowess together for:



Words simply cannot express.

Labels: film, hilarity, random

I miss Port Townsend. I miss our old life. I like our new life. I miss our old life. That's all for now.

Labels: random, sorrows

Yesterday afternoon I found myself in Aberdeen in the van while it was pouring rain, I had our kitty Harris in the passenger seat, and we'd just escaped the a shop after being hijacked by two separate store employees who were lonely and we'd been in there so long I'd had to timeout Nels (watching the van through the window) and by the time I got out to him he'd been crying and holding his pee and had to go and I wouldn't go back inside (both b/c of the employees' overtalking tendencies and Nels' immediate need) and I said, "Sophie, give me that cup!" and like a well-trained pit crew member she knew what I was doing and got the cup and took off the lid and I got Nels out of his carseat and pulled down his pants and he peed and RAPIDLY began to fill the cup, stopping 1/4" before the top.

As it was happening I was thinking how all of it made sense on some level (except the kitten but he was really lonely and is a good car rider) but I'm pretty sure no one else would have thought it made sense to watch how it all went down.

Afterwards, I poured the fresh hot cup of steaming urine into the gutter. I'm sure that's not the first time anyone's leaned out of a car in downtown Aberdeen and done the same.

Tonight I finished "Freaks and Geeks". I've never seen a show before like it and I see why it's rated so high on IMDB. The funny thing is, it started out decently enough for the first ten or so episodes (there are 18 total). But by the end I was in tears just about each chapter. I've also never experienced high school all over again, but I sure did during that show in the most amazing way - in a good way. Thanks Chris, for the recommendation. I got through them all eventually.

Tonight also marks the first five inches of my first sock! Yes, I'm knitting socks. I'm told it's addictive although it seems to be more like: knit knit knit knit for hours and hours and hours - here's a wristband!

And finally: newness in our household as Nels gave the kitty a bath. Using the toilet. Yes, it really happened. I can't really talk much more about it.

Labels: Aberdeen, family life, Harris, knitting, Nels, pets, rain, random

I forgot to mention, Ralph won the toga contest last night. There were around thirty entrants! The toga itself was made absolutely last minute: I (genius-like) tore a queen-size sheet in half and stitched the short ends together to create the length needed. Each contestant was interviewed onstage and then "runway'd" down the stage to show off.


Beside him you see the female counterpart who tied him for first. She's doing the "looking good" version of the toga; Ralph had a different take since he not only cracked wise (the contestants interviewed prior to Ralph claimed spending a mere five or ten minutes on the toga... when asked Ralph cocked his head in mock seriousness and said, "Seven... seven or eight hours?") but he also pointed to his bare nipple during the clap-off to garner more applause.

Yeah, so. I didn't really marry an introvert or anything.

Labels: film, hilarity, Ralph, random

Today I had about two hours to myself with both kids in school. I spent about an hour doing some computer work, thirty minutes of chores, and thirty minutes getting set up to sew. While I was doing all this I was in mellow, steady-moving state. Kind of the perfect time you think a certain little kitten would want some love. I mean, I would have been happy to put down the dishes and sit with a purring furball on my lap for a few minutes.

But no, it wasn't until I sat down and started winding a bobbin that the wee kitty finally stumbled out of bed (currently favoring the "hammock" of fabric in the box spring) and came at me all sleep-eyed with stick paws kind of stumbling around. He climbed up on the sewing table and started to purr then saw thread spools and then started batting with harmless velvety paws. He was really warm from sleep and really energetic.

A few days ago while on our trip our housesitter came up with a good word regarding Harris:

Paige: Harris has only gotten out once!me: Oh, that's good. He seems to know how to come home. I probably won't let him out regularly until I can chip him and collar him.

My neighborhood is a little sketchy so I want him to be fully protected.

Paige: Ah, yeah. He prounced around the back yard for a little bit, letting me know that I couldn't catch him if he didn't want to let me, then he let me.

"Prounced"! That is exactly what kittens do!

I actually love this song and was belting it out in the car today; I felt inspired to search for the video and, um?:


(Billy, check out the move at 1:24. Or the stair declension here at 0:57. Watch and learn).

Labels: Harris, music, random

Well... that one speaks for itself.

And let me make it clear that I personally am not disturbed if the Senator is gay or lewd or likes "hot cops in stalls" action. In fact, some of my favorite people have exposed themselves in bathrooms (and they know who they are). But it's pretty frakin' disgusting Mr. Craig neither flushed nor wash his hands after his self-alleged "wide stance" pooping spree. I mean come on.

Friends, don't vote for a party that can't practice even bare-minimum level bathroom hygiene.

Labels: random

Teenage skater boys are on the whole quite sweet.

Champagne grapes, while tasty, are annoying to eat.

What tiny amount of time I had spent on MySpace will be invested tenfold in Facebook now. Sorry.

Pap smears aren't quite as fun as the fact you know you don't have to have one again for a year.

I need to quit watching movies with Vikings in them.


(marriedtothesea.com)

Labels: random

Yesterday a waitress followed me out of the eatery and told me, "I just have to tell you, every time you come in - your children are the best-behaved kids." I said thank you (surprised) and my mom and I waited until she'd returned inside and then stared at eachother wondering what kind of children this restaurant is used to since Nels' last act of the lunch date was to drink directly from the cream pitcher and I'd felt like choking him more than once.

Oddly this is the second time in a little over a week someone has told me our kids were "the best-behaved kids [they] know." It's nice to hear; we really do want the little beasts to mostly mind themselves.

And I'm the first to find fanvids creepy and off-putting, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit these images dance around inside my brain sometimes.

Labels: Nels, random, Sophie

Tonight, oddly, our power went out. Middle of the evening. I was perplexed. At the moment it went out, my son woke up from a late nap and cried out; even the lawnmower outside halted.

I was disoriented. I went outside. Ralph was excited. I hung out in the living room with the kids as he finished the lawn. The power was out for about thirty minutes and abruptly came back on while people were still sort of "neighborhooding" it up. Just three minutes after our power came up as I stood outside my house I saw rolling billows of smoke, nasty smoke. People were once again stirring, talking in their lawns. I told Ralph to ride the bike and suss it out; in fact I begged him to remove his bike helmet, his shirt, and grow a mustache first, if he could (he declined).

I only heard one siren, and the smoke died out after about twenty minutes. It was an odd evening, for sure.

Labels: neighbors, Ralph, random

This week we had a sort of bittersweet milestone. My dad is officially done with cpt-11, the horrific chemo that has held his metastatic cancer at bay all these years. He's done because it is losing efficacy. So our celebration is mixed; he won't be sick for a while and he will be enjoying his days more. It means the most effective medicine they had for him is no longer working.

Tonight I made him a lemon meringue pie (his favorite) and we had a family dinner. He read to my kids; we talked and laughed and Nels and Grandma did their typical battle of wills which I find delightful. My dad drank some wine and seemed happy and of course looked too skinny.

I feel too tired and sad to write much about my father and his illness. Normally I'd try to dig down deep and let you know how I feel, but I don't want to.

Today was a big day; I was out the door by 8:30 when my mom, my aunt Patti, and her girlhood friend Nancy picked us up for breakfast. From there we were dropped off at the salon for haircuts; then walked to the Y where Nels and I watched Sophie in her swimming lessons. We walked another half mile to the Farmer's Market; then two buses home. Long, long naps for the kids as I baked, made dinner, and blogged my latest sewing accomplishment.

And oh Jesus. I can't stop, even though I know it's fucked up.

Labels: bus, family life, FOO, random, sorrows, the Ghost of Christmas Bastard

and yes I am sort of sick.

Labels: hilarity, random

Ralph (to Nels): "You know how I know you're gay?

...

because you sing 'Twinkle Twinkle' while I paint your toenails."

Labels: Nels, Ralph, random

French electonica band Air, awkwardness, old Star Trek, and non-sequiter humor.

Labels: random

We're watching a lot of "He-Man" on YouTube around these parts. Guess what? It's really shitty. Ralph and I were appalled because as children TV viewers* He-Man was heavy, dramatic grist for our idealogical mill.

If He-Man can't entertain Ralph and I with compelling storyline and rich explorations of the dichotomy of good and evil, he sure can deliver an excellent PSA:



Do you think anyone ever had the gall to touch He-Man on his bathing suit area? Perhaps when he was merely a shy, awkward Boy Adam. And I can't help but think the last qualifier is made all the more awkward when it's your rabbi or minister who's doing the inappropriate touching.

* I grew up without a TV; I can only imagine my He-Man viewing was either at the grandparents' or with friends - but I do remember my brother and I watched some. Billy? Do you remember? Was it in the back of that van where that man touched us in the way He-Man is talking about?

Labels: geekery, hilarity, random

Today my day started out like this:


This morning I'd looked forward to a half-day trip with my parents and my children to Olympia (hereon out called ORLY) [ that's good! ]. Instead I get an eleventh-hour bailout from my mom [ that's bad! ]. I mean, I don't want to get too personal or TMI but she basically had some sort of shitstorm going on that meant she couldn't be more than ten feet away from a commode. So suddenly I find myself with my mean ole dad and my son, and no Mom nor the pleasure of her company nor the gravy-train Visa card of hers for lunch, and no help wrangling The Boy, on my way to a more-than-half day errand which I have to run because my dad has fainting spells so it's not safe for him to drive himself.

I sure hope she had fun on that crapper this morning. Oh, and to be fair; she retained Sophie and took her to school and afterwards too.

Tonight I got a date I'd looked forward to; I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and a movie - dinner at Ocean Shores' Galaway Bay (a caesar salad and Fish Tail Ale for me), the movie Hot Fuzz. I laughed so damned hard during the entire protracted ending, which achieved levels of satire combined with heart in a way I had previously never seen. I would have re-watched the movie instantly afterwards and I can say I haven't really felt that urge before. I can't wait for Ralph to see it.

And speaking of Ralph - he sent me this article today (in part of his effort to write a Father's Day editorial, an idea he stole from a friend of mine). I have always loved Carolyn Hax and this is just more evidence. I almost got teared-up reading what she wrote. And yeah - "That's good!"

Labels: film, friends, gratitude, random, sahm

Exhibit #1: Giant Centipede vs. Tarantula

Why, oh lord, why?!



WHY, DEAR LORD, WHY?!?! *

* You can see more here if that wasn't enough for you.

Labels: random

Today on IM a friend writes,

"8:49 i dress like a total whore."
"8:49 a homeless one."

Which reminded me of today's clip:


As I type this, a guy across the street jumps down his front steps. He's wearing tight black jeans (w/belt), poofy white sneakers, and is shirtless with a respectable amount of back hair.

I truly love living here, and I'm not being ironic or sarcastic one bit.

Labels: hilarity, HQX, random

This evening I found out that our local take-and-bake pizza place - a place that's been around forever as far as I can tell - is not long for this world. The entire set of buildings on one city block in Aberdeen have been sold and the businesses left to their own devices. My half-assed guess is they were probably paying a very low rent and now that they're forced to go seek leases in the real market, they can't survive and decide to fold tent.

With a lot of whinging I might add, which is what I've been subjected to the few times I've gone in to purchase goods from the shops in the doomed locale. For instance today I'm told I can't get sourdough crust for my pizza. I say, "Oh, you're out?" innocently enough and the proprietor looks at me like I'm, yes, fucktarded, and tells me they're discontinuing items because they won't be around for more than a couple weeks. "It's been all over the papers," he kind of scoffs, clearly disbelieving that I would be so misinformed about matters of such global importance. Now, I love the pizza at this place - it's fresh, tasty, completely unlike Papa Murphy's or any of that franchise crap, inexpensive, and familiar. But the business owner giving me shit right now? He looks like an older, stringier, scarier version of the really bad guy in Fargo (we're talking doppleganger, here). He's also Russian ("or somethin weird"), tends to the surly side, and sometimes wears snug jeans that display his genitalia with too much precision for my taste (right above the counter at eye level since he's on the tall side). So, um... yeah, it's kind of hard to buy pizza from him. Even when he's not treating me like an ass.

When I get home I tried to look the story up on The Daily World for the scoop on the business closures - but as I couldn't find it after five minutes of searching, I gave up.

I'm sad I won't get to have that sourdough crust ever again.

OT - one of the sweetest things about this story is not only the sweetness of this British lad but his teeth as well.

And dear God. If you recognize this, you know what I mean:

Labels: food, hilarity, other haters, random

Currently drinking: Tully's coffee.

Currently contemplating: buying a Viking Husqvarna Classica 105 used from a friend.

Currently wearing: slutty earrings, Nero kitten t-shirt.

Currently doing: leaving for Olympia for a barbecue at my friend Amore's; I made a very special chocolate cake to bring along.

Labels: friends, random

Yesterday, all things considered and with a continuation of lovely weather, Ralph and I decided on another bike adventure. While he collected bikes and helmets, I packed a picnic lunch (vegetarian po' boy sandwiches, carrots and baby corn w/hummus, apples, snack mix, and plenty of drinkable) and we called my parents for ideas of good trips. My dad advised us - no shit - to the idea of taking the road from Vance Creek Park to the nuclear power plant.

As it turned out this was not only a beautiful route (we did about half the seven-ish miles it would have taken to get to the plant) but there was also a bike race going on. Pilot cars and whirring crowds of bicyclists, uniform in their race-car spandex and posture surprised us around turns and seemingly at random. For the larger groups my family would pull over and the kids would stand up in the bike trailer and clap. The weather was so nice the kids traveled with the trailer opened up to fresh air. Ralph remarked, "I'd love living out in the country like this. Except you hate the smell [ manure guns ] and I'm scared of the dogs."

We got back late; too late to give kids their nap. After being home only an hour we packed up and headed to a churchy dinner thing at the Methodist in Hoquiam. And after that (good food, decent film, good discussion, excellent coffee), on to bowling at Rainier Lanes which housed loud rock and roll and mostly teenagers, except that old dude in the Wolverine t-shirt who I begged Ralph to get a picture of. Which he didn't.
By the end of bowling - or should I say the premature end, as we did not finish our game - Nels' lack of nap had him rude as hell and I was bored (as I get easily when it comes to bowling). We headed home, swung by the video store to rent a movie (Singer's X-Men in hopes of decent family fare and perhaps by subconscious influence of the Wolverine guy), ate some cold cuts for dinner, and snuggled the rest of the night away.

All in all, Big Fun Weekend ended up being a success, although I'm hearing Ralph say he thinks we went too far with the "fun".

Currently reading: Patricia Cornwell's book on Jack the Ripper, which is the creepiest thing I've read in a while.

Labels: bike, family life, random

Billy comes over for lunch and to take some pictures. I wish we had a camera. Scratch that. I wish we'd get off our asses and scrape up the $100 to fix ours.

Small gaffe on Mama's part - so today my brother is taking pictures of Sophie and the latest two shirts I've sewn her and she says, "I want to take pictures of my bottom and punani!" and I say (without thinking), "That's called kiddie porn. And we're not going to do that." She responds crankily, "Well I want kiddie porn!"


Billy and I doubled up in silent laughter. I immediately regretted that whole conversation. But, let's just move on.


Nels, pensive. He's been like that lately. I think he's undergoing a personality change. Since it isn't in the direction of savagery, I'm happy with it.


My room, sunlit. I would say "our room" but as Ralph points out, we are sleeping along gender lines these days. Unless we can trick the kids to sleep together, which we do now and then.

P.S. I found some crystal meth on my walk to my parents' today. Yay!

Labels: birlo, hilarity, random, sewing, Sophie

(I had to watch the original to truly appreciate - I'd never seen it before).

Labels: hilarity, random

Today as I walked down the hallway of the YMCA I saw a boy - a man - I went to school with. I hadn't seen him in thirteen years or so, I'd imagine - I don't remember him being at the reunion a couple years ago. But he and I recognized one another right away and said "Hi" quite warmly. Then he said, "Is this your son?" looking at Nels (Sophie was in the showers) and I said, "Yes," and the man said, "He's cute!" A beat later: "He'll be a little boy genius like his mom!"

I said thanks - taken aback but pleased - and goodbye. I held Nels' hand and we walked into the locker room and I tried to think of why it was nice to hear such a compliment - for myself and my child. Much of it was just the honest-to-goodness nice feeling of seeing someone you haven't seen in a long time, and you both recognize one another and share a warm rapport. But another part of it was to be noticed besides someone I am responsible for cleaning for and feeding.

But who did he notice? That girl he knew - and did not even know all that well - does she exist? I used to be a person but there has been some fragmentation and now that I'm living where I grew up, I sense it all the more strongly. Yes, I went off to college and married but that wasn't it. At some point my responsibilities ate my life up, devoured me, for a brief but intense bout I was in the belly of the whale. Then I got back above water but I'd changed while I was under. I don't know how I changed exactly but in any case, whatever dreams or ambitions I had before I'd drowned in child-making and -raising were long gone and left in their place was a fulltime job of cleaning, cooking, worrying, bothering, fussing, and above all loving - loving intensely and selfishly. I added sewing and writing and housekeeping to the list and daily wish I had something more but not sure what that "more" would be.

Maybe another thing I'm seeing is that returning and seeing classmates and childhood peers, many of whom have children now and I sense a divide in them and who they were, too. I know this divide can and may exist whether or not we've started families; I don't quite know how to bridge it. Except to say hello and to reconnect; to extend a hand and a smile and at least know that this is one reason people are often too scared to return to where they grew up.

Labels: random

In a few minutes: the family all-out for Sophie's 5th birthday party. Yay Sophie! Yesterday she received a simply lovely birthday package from her friend Olivia (daughter to my friend Abbi):


From left to right: miso pretty gum, picture of Liv, fabulous summer fisherman hat, optical illusion book, small pewter night and dinosaur card.

Thank you, Olivia!

A few minutes ago I overheard my mom turn to my dad and angrily say, "He smells like shit. Check his ass." (referring to the dog who came in for his afternoon outside dump). 10 minutes later and I am still laughing, laughing, laughing.

Labels: birthday, FOO, friends, hilarity, random

Not too timely I know, but there's my Christmas list in its entirety.

Labels: hilarity, random

Have you seen the new Google pedometer features?


See if you can identify these halmarks of Abbi and my two-mile walk:

• Abbi’s plantar fascitis acting up
• Rosie screaming in my ear as I backpacked her
• Really sweaty
• Trespassing, through yard, hauling stroller and cranky, wet Nels
  
• Sharp bowel pains strike (jalapeno + strong morning coffee)

My daughter is currently discovering soy milk. She's enjoyed it before of course; but today she requested I buy it and I did. She is very pleased with the experiment so far.

Labels: friends, random, the bod

Last night I asked my children if they wanted a bedtime story or a spooky story. I had never raised that query before and Sophie immediately widened her eyes: "Spooky story." The kids were silent as I ran through a couple I knew (the one with the hook hanging off the car door? I told it badly, but they got the general idea).

I decide to go off-path and tell a story about a scary tree - my hands make the creepy-looking branches and wave in the evil, cold wind. The tree snatches up children, names by request: Nels, Sophie, then Olivia. The children - trapped in the Scary Tree! Alone and frightened! I tell them Mama decides to go confront the tree; Mama gets dressed in clothes (bra, panties, two tee shirts, a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie, pants, socks, big boots, a jacket, mittens, scarf, hat) and marches out to find the tree.

[ smack! ] Sophie removes her thumb from her mouth, raises her eyebrows, and intones simply: "You're going to get yourself killed."

Note to parents: it's tough to tell spooky stories when you're stifling a laugh at the scariest part.

In today's naptime version (Nels especially likes the thought of his friend Olivia being captured and held in the tree; he has a slight crush on her I believe): the method of dispatch for the hideous deciduous villian is that Sophie finds Grandpa and asks him to take his big bus and run the tree down, thereby freeing the children. Nels, up until now completely quiet, can be silent no more:

"AND NELS RIDES THE BUS AND SOPHIE RIDES THE BUS AND OLIVIA RIDES THE BUS AND GRANDPA RIDES THE BUS AND CYNTHIA RIDES THE BUS!"

"Lower your voice!" says Sophie, in the most adult tone her duck-like register can. Ready to hear the rest of the story. Nels' eyes are filled with stars, thinking of riding in the beloved bus with all this loved ones.

Labels: hilarity, Nels, random, Sophie

For the second time I find FM transmitter technology just isn't cutting it for the enjoyment of my iPod. Oh sure, sure - it's lame I'm even buying something so chintzy with a weird, cock-like appendage and an even weirder, cock-with-elbow-like secondary extender. After all, there are classier, more expensive ways to put your massive iPod music library in your vehicle. However, the well is not bottomless, and even though my iPod was this year's sole Kelly expendeture from the Hogaboom coffers - well, I am looking for a more reasonable solution. After returning original FM doohickey (and vowing to hate radio technology, despite the lovely and informative article on the cellular phone I read in last edition of Invention & Technology magazine, P.S. I am not kidding, I really do read that magazine) today I find out from an IM conversation, innocently enough, that a simpler and more mechanically-based adapter is available in town. I rush my daughter and I out early for our date so I can hit the store in question and grab it up (and a quarter the price of FM device).

Inside the car I begin tearing at the packaging like a monkey ("That's a little bit awful," observes my biscotti-eating child-date watching me scratch at the vacuum-sealed sarcophagi), finally breaking the seal thanks to my keychain swiss army knife (yes! I'm a dork. But who's laughing now?!?), plug the "cassette" in, mash everything on the face of my iPod (Sophie requests Starsky & Hutch's "Two Dragons" for our maiden listen), only to have the stereo readout tell me in its fuckspeak: "c | n " - a code meaning either, "Please clean your tape deck" or, "I will never work again". Don't know which yet and get to find out.

Once again, no instant gratification for yours truly.

Oh, tonight's movie; Eragon. Don't see it. Billed as "Lord of the Rings Light", I'd phrase it "Lord of the Rings LITE (TM) with 'artificial meat flavors' and Miracle Whip". Why do I watch this crap? Oh yeah: because I have a daughter, and we go on dates, and I refuse to watch kiddy films. This movie works for her because she has a huge affinity for anything scaly (and an even huger affinity for anything huge and scaly). And even SHE was bored by the end. Your average crap fantasy film: a young boy's turn to manhood and the loss of loved ones (you can predict exactly when they'll go); evil badguy (with repetitive idle threats toward his minions that remind me of so many parents on the playground and their errant toddlers, and John Malkovitch enough already and retire please), his really evil-henchman (whose makeup inexplicably gets re-creepified 2/3 of the way through the film, but I still find Robert Carlyle cute only when he's playing a psycho); token buff warrior dude with obligatory horrific mulletude (P.S. Hollywood, I want my Djimon Hounsou served up in a loincloth, gladiator toga, ass-cheeked thong, or half-nude in a period drama, thank you!), blah blah. It actually started to get better by the end, especially when I realized they were going to save some of the typical storyline for, yes! another film. P.S. I think something sexy was going on between the boy dragonrider and his dragon. Or maybe it was just my feverish, bored mind casting for something to enjoy. I gotta admit, it was kind of hot.

So in looking up links for the last paragraph I stumbled upon the fact I have seen two movies in one week with a main character named "King Hrothgar".

Um... look. I've watched a lot of movies in the last few days, people. No really... I've been sick and had nothing else to do. Wait, don't leave ...

I'm going to go hang my head in shame now.

Labels: film, geekery, iBeak, Mac, music, random, Sophie

Today Blogger Beta (or I guess it's not beta anymore but you wouldn't know it from it's assed-out performance) ate my post from earlier. Believe me, if you'd seen it, you would have thought I was witty yet heartbreakingly eloquent... You would have been moved to tears.

Given that I don't have the energy to dredge up then post my awesomeness again, I'll offer you today's list of:

Other (Besides Blogger-Goofs) Top Annoyances / Evils of the World:

1. Bad hair. Normally I don't care, but this quasi-Peter Cetera fuckup is pretty bad.

2. People who, once you find out where you disagree, hammer away to keep proving you're "wrong". I used to be good at this. I don't do it anymore; at least, I try not to.

3. Girl-lisp. You know what I'm talking about. Contrived.

4. People who take me for granted. I'll show them. I'll show them all! P.S. have you noticed I'm not really speaking to you?

5. Cries for help. Just go get help already.

Enjoyments:

1. Texan girls. Why are they so awesome? The ones I run into, anyway.

2. My husband. He's a goddamned hero. His ass looks good in jeans too.

3. My kids for enjoying scalding-hot baths with me. We Hogabooms don't raise wussies.

4. Teapots delivered from Victoria's Chinatown to my doorstep. Thank you!

5. Thai donuts from "1 2 3 Thai" restaurant. Yeah. That's a name of an actual restaurant in town. Three seconds later, move said donuts up to "Evil" category.

Labels: random

It is merely a simple fact of life that a mother to two young children gets one sick day. 24 hours then I'm on to the daily grind no matter how well I'm feeling. Hey, headaches can be managed with Tylenol and the occasional dizzy spell (or more than occasional) just makes parenting more fun.

Today kind of fooled me, though. I felt so much better when I woke up that I jumped right into laundry, dishes, toilet cleaning before realizing I had to sit down else I puked. I'm not sure exactly why I felt so badly because there really are a few factors - besides being sick on Sunday this morning constituted over 24 hours now with no booze, caffeine, or cigarettes and only a few ounces of water and a half dinner. Let's just say my body was not receiving its typical dose of poisons / sustenance. Not to mention that the rumors are true we may indeed move from our beloved burg (if my husband lands a certain job), the thought of which puts a little vomit in my mouth. Oh, and did I mention I am no longer napping my children and my husband is having a sort of multifaceted personal life crisis? All this adds up to one beleagured Mama.

Oh the kids? The kids are great. I have a digital camera on loan which improves self-portraits marginally. The three of us today:

Note festive thrift store light decor. And in real life, my hair isn't pasted to my head and Nels isn't usually yelling unintelligibly about a marble. Who am I kidding on both accounts.

Labels: family life, illness, random, worries

This series of 70 pictures made my day today.

Here are some of my favorites.

Labels: hilarity, holidays, random

* Today Nels and I did a 2 1/2 mile walk together (me pumping my ass, him resting on his and all swaddled-up against the elements). It was awesome!

* We are supposed to get a massive windstorm tonight. I have no idea what to do about this besides wait for my power to go out.

* Well of course.

Labels: random