just wait until tonight when you’re sleeping spread-eagle on your back, with one nut hanging out of your boxers

I know I posted photos of you in your underwear online but at least I asked your permission. Plus, I think you kind of enjoyed all the attention that came of it. You should know I wouldn’t feel the same, nudity or no. And no, I did not “allow” you to take that picture. You took it, and I didn’t know it until about five minutes when I saw it online. A photo in which I look not only ugly (which I can be), but dumb (which I’m not). And slightly wall-eyed! Thanks a lot, honeybunch.