Despite the recent trend of a stellar exercise regimen and relatively clean-living social life (read: no body shots off Sara or Steph for at least a couple weeks) I am worn down to a “fuck-it, just do whatever the hell you want, kids” kind of Mama the last couple days. By way of example, I literally have no idea what to do with my children this afternoon. Should I take them to the park? Already been there once today. And hey, guess what? The park is boring for adults. Maybe I should attempt to get groceries while plagued with their grabby hands, whiny voices, and intolerance for anything other than observing the lobsters in the tank at the seafood counter? Yes, a favorite interest of theirs. On days like today you will see me in Safeway or the Co-op or QFC and probably be thrown by my mingled aspect of profound boredom, minor coffee-tremors, and desperation.
Incidentally, on the grocery subject, I find it amazing just how much of my time is spent planning, shopping, cooking, thinking about, or cleaning up after food. I wipe down my IKEA kitchen table (on indefinite loan from a friend who skipped town) so many times a day it’s a wonder the thing hasn’t dissolved. Underneath the table I do my best, but the kids have the advantage there because I don’t like scrubbing while on hands and knees, not so much. I get irritated if my husband doesn’t clean the floor when he’s supervising meals because if you give it even one hour after eating who knows what will breed down there. Now in addition to the planning and cooking and cleaning etc, if you add the whole excretive aspect of my children’s digestive systems and the work I get to do there, I think that leaves about ten percent of my waking hours which are then, in general, taken up with laundry. Somehow with all of this I manage to write, sew, knit, return calls, scrub the toilet, cuddle my children, shag my husband, and (occasionally) pet and/or feed the cat.
And with those two paragraphs I have run myself into a temporary state of exhaustion. I think it’s time to buy my first pack of cigs of 2006.