Please complete the following pop quiz regarding my new, Holy-Shit-It’s-Still-Winter-Enough-Already hair effect.
The most recent change was instigated for what motives?
A. Mistakenly believing I am young / cool / edgy enough to wear weird hair with dignity. Lara at PT’s own Curl Up & Die salon (yes, I love the name too) is a talented young woman, but I have to confess I’m a wee bit disappointed… I told her I wanted a natural-looking green.
B. A tactical move away from”Brassy Whore” to “Hot Topic teenybopper sympathizer”. Extra credit for any dork who recognizes what’s on my shirt.
C. Becoming a master villian (Cat’s ass not included, sinister mustache only).
The correct answer is D: I colored it to match my family van.
Bonus question:
Would you make out with this boy? The inflamed eyes, zombie-like patina courtesty of calamine lotion, and two of the world’s Saddest Pigtails Ever complete the pathos.