i did not realize that movie Microcosmos had a pornographic snail scene and i’ve been letting the kids watch it a lot

Today a minor, but it actually was major, milestone was breached and summited. I was due for my once-a-month bangs and brows treatment at the salon and – due to lack of planning on my part and a concomitant desire to spare my husband a late lunch date childcare surprise – I decided to bring the kids. I also decided this probably was a bad idea; but I was just too tired to beg for help from anyone else to wrangle my children. Echoing in my head as I hustled them up the front steps was a dear friend who recently reported to my husband that our kids were “the best behaved [he’d] ever seen.” OK, a little confidence here.

You have to understand, to leave my kids about a salon for an hour – half of which was in a room getting hot wax applied to my face as I almost fall asleep in the hypnotic torture lamp – is something new. Sophie has been able to be trusted in rooms with knicknacks, sharp scissors, and hot curling irons for a couple years; Nels could not be trusted in a padded cell with a marshmallow. Still, I came prepared; a lunch (for the time I’d be out the room) and a few pointers before we got there as well as some good old fashioned, “If you eat your lunch and don’t make a mess and play with toys only you will get pie” bribery.

It went off fine. My hairdresser T.- a very sweet, lovely lass who instead of children has three high-maintenance and well-loved dogs – even complimented the children as we left. My left eyeball hurt from having to dart it back and forth as I sat facing straight into the mirror for her benefit. But I agreed; they’d done well. And Nels’ last-hour confession of “spitting salad on the floor” (his way to remove a bit of lettuce from his sandwich he didn’t want) was both not understood by T. nor did she see the evidence of this Nottyness before I had a chance to discreetly clean it up.

Two days ago antique shop; today the frame shop and salon. Pretty soon these kids will be raising me.

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