We made it to the carnival tonight.
At first I was nervous Nels wouldn’t really enjoy the rides. What do I worry for? He was just as relaxed and smiling as he is about 99.8% of the time. Going down the Fun House spiral slide for the second time, he goofed around, miscalculated, and tumbled over on his head. Ralph and I practically raced to pick him up and administer comfort. Our children are getting older, more independent, less clingy. They don’t breastfeed or cry out for us to hold them near as often as they used to.
I already feel a small hole working its way outward in my chest: the vacancy of the loss of being so essentially needed so much of the day.