Me: “You mean potatoes.”
Ralph: “What did I say?”
Me: “Tomatoes.”
Ralph: “Oh.”
[ brief pause ]Ralph: “I have to be honest, I started that sentence then just put my mind on autopilot and started thinking about Dee Synder.”*
Nels (taunting his sister): “I’m going to eat your brain… And then I’ll have TWO brains!”
Me (watching an acquaintance bike by): “You know, Terry is the closest I’ve come to having a crush on another man in ten years.”**
Ralph: “Yeah, well. He has those Billy qualities.” (Billy being my brother)
Me: “What? No he doesn’t!”
Ralph: “Yeah, they’re cut from the same… musty old bolt of cloth… in the back of Clevengers, or something.” (P.S. Ralph’s voice cracked halfway through, thinking he was so funny).
Ralph: “God, that frosting is so good. You must have made it out of buttered angels or something.”***
*Yes, this guy (and don’t think it wasn’t hard for me to settle on a Dee Snyder image to link to). And no, I didn’t ask Ralph why.
** This is a surprise to exactly no one as I regularly make my feelings clear for our local bike mechanic.
*** This was actually said a few minutes later, at home, but it made me laugh and I had to share.