“Was David Lee Roth in any bands before Van Halen?” (Ralph, to me, and what’s sad is I had an immediate response as if I was thinking along the same lines).
“Please don’t compare my balls to Burt Reynolds’.” (Ralph again).
Sophie, in the car: “Phew! What smells like leprosy?”
Me, startled: “What? Do you know what that is?”
Sophie: “Yeah. It’s when your toes and fingers rot and fall off.”
Me: “Where did you learn about that?”
Sophie (airily): “At my Bible school.”*
Nels: “You’re right! It smells like rotting… like onions. An old onion.”
Me: “Well, that restaurant I was just in was cooking, maybe they were using onions.”
Kids (with more scorn on their faces than you can possibly imagine): “An old onion?” “Yuck.” “Gross.” etc.
Among other things, I sincerely weep for their targets should they become professional epicures.
* Sophie has gone to Bible school less than once each year, but she threw this out there like it was some college she had a degree from.