Today was another warm, sunlit day. Sophie spent it outside and Nels spent it indoors playing his favorite video game. Ralph had band practice (they put together a new song!) and I had lunch with my mother, a steak and a bloody mary at our new pub. My new naturopath [brag, because I’m awesome and into alternative medicine!] suggested I forgo eating dairy for awhile to see if I experience any quality of life improvements. It would appear I am making up for this restriction with red meat as I have cravings like I haven’t known for years.
After lunch I got home and the kids were still, you know, up to their exploits and completely uninterested in me. So I sewed and watched two movies (Frozen River (2008) and Moon (2009), both excellent) and kind of puttered around and rested.
It’s lonely, sometimes, having independent kids. When the weather’s good they seem to mostly want to play, run inside to eat, run back outside and play some more, maybe come inside and draw and build some massive Lego thing then back outside. I recognize the Rightness in all of this, but it feels a bit odd, like I’ve worked myself out of a job (and yes, I know this is not true). The kids need me, I just don’t always see it. But:
In the nighttime it’s a different story. It’s all about the snuggling, which both kids love to do in the evening. So much so that it always looks odd to me in a film when someone tucks their kid into a bed and says, “Goodnight!” and leaves them alone. My kids even giggle when they see this. They sleep by me at night and in the morning I find myself absolutely piled on. Usually one kid is up against me and another one on top of both of us. And I love it because I slip out and make my coffee and get my morning started and maybe sew or cook a bit. And my kids are in a big jumbly pile in the bed, and my house is clean and calm and everything feels very right.
Lather, rinse, repeat.