Apologies, dear reader: I am still figuring things out here. You know, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking in my claptrap way about this whole, “Should I let people support me?” bit (despite what some people believe, my brain is actually only fair-to-middling and rattles around but doesn’t get a lot done). We’ve had a few changes in our household I haven’t talked about (not financial ones, but child-related); the results of these factors so far is I’ve offered up a few items for custom craftsmanship and enabled a donation button.
I thought about writing out all these thoughts and Hoga-events and maybe I will, In fact I know I will –
But not now.
One thing that occurred to me – a half-day after I made these changes – and caused me some degree of anguish is the possibility some readers might feel any pressure to donate, whatsoever. Now that pressure isn’t a bad thing necessarily and I leave it for people to stew in their own business there. I’m certainly not going to hijack content or even change much, at all, so it’s really up to them entirely.
But I wanted to talk a bit about support and what it means to me so you know where I’m coming from.
Over the years I have had cards, letters, and packages mailed to me. Several of these kindnesses, stunning and called back to memory most vividly, after I lost my father: bright fierce days of brilliance and pain and I’d hold letters in my hands and marvel, absolutely marvel at the kindness in the world.
In a relatively constant trickle over the years I’ve received phone calls, IMs, tweets, DMs, emails, comments, and formspring communique. People off the street talk to me about my writing. Yes, some people ask for help or advice – in fact many do. And some people criticize, and this is occasionally helpful to me (though usually not).
But the vast majority of feedback I receive would be what I’d call Supportive. The letters and cards and emails et al make it very real to me that sharing here is not just a journal, just a diary I’d keep anyway, it’s a living, breathing thing for myself and many of my readers.
I do not need any particular consumer to “prove” themselves nor engage in any particular way. Full stop.
The kind words are Supportive. The emails are Supportive. The donations are Supportive. The Page Views and the “Avg. Time Spent On Site” statistics from Google Analytics are Supportive. Knowing I’m being read is Supportive. Comments are Supportive (in fact, I am impressed with those who leave comments and the caliber of discussion that often occurs… adding comments was quite a change for me).
I am being supported by so many in different ways. I feel very grateful for this. The idea that this space changed in some drastic way 36 hours ago is hardly accurate, even if, 36 hours ago, it felt that way to me at first.
My “support” banner up top will be changing soon just like lots of little design features on the blog come and go. In the meantime you can read my Support policy if you like. Otherwise let’s continue on our way.
Kelly,
You and your family are a nexus of hope and inspiration.
Readers come to your journal to stretch their minds and warm their hearts. People need that more than ever these days. Any one of us can visit a news site to learn how much things suck in the world because no one reports news anymore unless it’s bad or controversial. We all need a place that reminds us that life is still a blessing. We all need someone to remind us that we aren’t crazy when a giant plate of spaghetti and meatballs makes us feel that life is perfect right this very moment. You remind us that we need to slow down to enjoy life and the people in it. You validate our secret ideas and feelings by sharing yours. Best of all, you remind us that even when shit happens, life is still full of things to celebrate.
I think it’s safe for me to say that none of your readers feels obligated to support you. I know that I lean on movies too much when I attempt to illustrate a point, but this is an “It’s a Wonderful Life” moment if I’ve ever seen one. The people that can help you with donations will do it out of love and appreciation. The rest will help you smile when you need it most with their very own Zuzu’s petals stories.
Lady, I doubt anyone is tripping on the call for support. As kidsync said, people will decide whether they feel that they can help and to what extent, and if they can’t or don’t feel comfortable helping in this way, then they won’t. In some ways, this keeps your writing space a bit more organic — you are sponsored by readers and on an at-will basis rather than by, for example, google ads or by subscriptions where the readers must subscribe in order to read. It seems to fit you and your way.
And as an aside, it’s rather Marxist: “from each according to ability to each according to need” and all (my dad, who I think is the only person left in America who still uses the word, might go ahead and call you a Pinko — and yes, in his mind, you would join me in that category).
So from one commie pinko hippie women’s libber to another, rock on mama.
@christina & @kidsync
I have never been so happy to have a series of adjectives and nouns prescribed to me as “commie pinko hippie women’s libber”. I think I need a button to wear with pride.
Thank you both so much for your words here. It feels good to have people “get” me. Except for @kidsync, because I have to burst your Capra moment and confess the only movies I like Jimmy Stewart in were Harvey, Vertigo, and Rope. I guess I really am a twisted creep after all.
But you are right about the Zuzu’s petals bit. I have had so many people (present company most definitely included) who made such a difference to me right when I really needed it. So: thank you.
Tshirt!