Family!
“The Importance of Family Dinner” by mamapoekie
This subject was a tricky one for me as until very recently I revered and “enforced” family dinner (the enterprise has good intentions, of course, and is also such an awesome thing to root-toot about and we’re told if we don’t do it we’re what’s Wrong With America). Of course, my kids and husband and I still eat dinner together almost every night, except now it only happens when people want to, not because they have to or are nagged at (there’s a real difference!).
“Thoughts on Man Caves, Mom Caves, & Gendered Space” by Alexis at the Studioist
I love Alexis’ pieces as well as her rather considered responses to anyone who takes the time to work out a comment. She is a gracious hostess.
The new Life Learning Magazine is out. Well-worth the subscription (and if you write an article, you may get a discount / free subscription).
Science!
Mantid of the Week at I Blame The Patriarchy
Twisty’s been posting less, but each post is enjoyed. I think she has the most tender heart underneath all her meanie.
Porn! (not really, something way better actually)
thethickness.tumblr.com
Edit: see comments.
Halloween!
Super-easy ghost cloak at mermag.blogspot.com
I will be using this. Probably in a few minutes, actually. Yes, not everything I sew is some goddamned masterpiece.
“Scary Decor”; the Studioist (again, but I love her posts and the brief discussion of Halloween experiences in the comments; also she said I was the “best Mom in the world”, praise I sorely need on days like today where I hardly do anything decent as a mother
“Stripes”, a how-to for making striped fabric (bonus, the tute’s by my brother’s lady J.)
Etc!
“Hey Skinny…” at Twisted Vintage. Loving those little red shorts.
Great review of a pretty spooky movie: “Re-visiting the Canon: Candyman” at PostBourgie. This movie scared me quite deeply as a teen.
Guess who I think is sexy? No, guess. But you know, I think a lot of people are sexy. I guess I’ve got that joie de vivre. P.S. I’m also a big fan of his work and think he’s a compelling performer. The last bit of it I saw was in Wives & Daughters (Netflix instant). Did you know I’m a fiend for pre-20th century British period pieces? WELL I AM.
One imagines this Elliot Smith mixtape on soundcloud is against the Rules of the Intenetz & Copyright, but I have been enjoying a listen.
***
I am a total mess today. I can’t even express how little-by-little I’ve fallen behind to where my life currently feels like a small, grounded hulk of a shipwreck. I won’t feel this way soon. But I feel this way now and I’m being very hard on myself.
Whoa! “The Thickness” *is* porn. I was not expecting that.
At all.
I really don’t know how to feel about that. Uhm…I don’t find plus-size porn any more valid than the ‘straight-sized’ stuff.
On other notes, thank you very much for the links and I am sorry you are having a hard day. I feel so very behind some days and for me it’s compounded by the fact that I’m not a mom and can’t imagine life with kids if I can find life without kids so challenging. My current existential dilemmas include whether or not to finish my broccoli, which is now cold, and whether to be Medusa or the Bride of Frankenstein for Halloween.
e-hugs
Hang in there.
@Alexis
Thank you for both your comments and the emails. I can see I will either have to rid this entry of the link AND/or replace it with something better, AND/or post some of my own conflicted thoughts (of which I had before I so blithely posted). Or at least very soon include some material on the problematic and racially-coded aspects of “thick”, which I think many of my readers are thus far unaware of! Thank you very much. I edited my post – and I may edit more soon. (And I look forward to your email).
Both Medusa and the Bride are excellent. I was the Bride a few years ago (Nels helped, sorta) but couldn’t find the excellent wig needed. I’m nowhere near a costume this year. Just too many other things I got caught up in!
More::
Briefly: the term “thick” is quite racially coded and experienced as oppressive and misogynistic (something I really should have known better regarding, even though most images on the site, but not all, are white women); I apologize for being offensive.
Secondly, some view any naked and sexualized images of women as porn, PERIOD (and they don’t like porn for lots of really good reasons). I myself am conflicted on this latter point with regards to this particular site. First, many women have experienced this site as positive as it shows a variety of body shapes and sizes (and not at all just “ideally thick”) – with the notable exception most images seem to be able-bodied, young and, oddly, hairless – with a variety of body “flaws”, in a variety of poses (candid and “professional”), and a variety of garb (from nothing at all to pornulated “props” to all sorts of around-the-house gear or lack thereof). As far as the porn argument, I note the site is run by a woman and the photos are largely self-portraits posted publicly. This doesn’t negate it as porn, but given all this it does mean it might be something more than that.
As a woman with a body with lots of flaws I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a site that posted positive images and sexy/beautiful ones as well… but the lens of porn is a corrupting one, I agree.
Finally, I do not agree that sexualized or naked pictures of fat or large (or “imperfect”) women is in any way by necessity “fetishistic”. And I put the question: how might our culture go about rejecting normative and narrow views of “acceptable” women’s bodies WITHOUT pictures of a variety of bodies, naked and/or sexual? (No seriously… I am wondering.) Perhaps I should have posted the site Shape of a Mother… perhaps there are better sites you can school me on.
And while I’m at it I should admit I noticed that, in addition to the problems mentioned above, there is a bit of snark directed at thin women’s bodies – language which I can’t sanction.
One might ask why I bothered to post something I was conflicted on OR why I didn’t just remove the link. I’m hoping the discussion between Alexis and I, and anyone else who has a considered opinion, can help make a better conversation and develop more nuanced awareness.
Oh and I’m hoping people show courtesy in the comment field even though this is a difficult subject; it’s so much nicer when I don’t have to mod. Which I’ve only had to do once before.
And, of course, thank you Alexis for speaking up.