Tonight Ralph and I attended a parks meeting at the Hoquiam City Hall. It was ill-publicized and sparsely attended. I enjoyed myself, though. I learned a bit more about the Way Things Are Run (a bit more). I asked many questions and (when it seemed valuable) gave my opinions on how the parks plan might best be served (my suggestions included a bent to public restrooms and covered spaces, bike and pedestrian-accessibility, and navigable areas for those with disabilities, the elderly, and carers of small children). My husband and I both had different impressions as we left the meeting. We talked over a drink at the Ale House. At home Ralph collapsed into what I’m hoping is a restorative sleep.
I think a lot about cynicism. The adopted belief that things will never improve; the decision not to take people at their word when they report their intentions to work for the greater good. People’s egos are fragile things; they often don’t want to appear fools so they adopt cynicism and sarcasm to defend these egos. The problem is, rehearsing these exercises leads to apathy. I’ve never spent much time in apathy; it’s just not me. But I am no stranger to cynical thoughts. Yes, given the economic hardships experienced by many where I live, and the lifestyles experienced by those who represent us, I remain unsure if the City has the willingness to serve the interests they claim they do. But what is the alternative? To stay home, to never offer my presence or my assistance?
Today it rained but I went running anyway. I run with earbud volume at 11 right in my eardrum. Mostly because I love TEH MUSIK in many forms. Today it was rock and roll – The Police’s “Synchronicity II”, Ratt’s “Round and Round”, Winger’s “17” (good lord… how much driving buttrock goodness has such unconscionably vile lyrics? So painful to be addicted to crunchy dirty rock whilst having the conscience of a decent human being). And a bunch of other stuff that made me laugh while I blew the streaming rainwater off my face and dodged logging trucks and waved at every passerby.
It was a good run.
(Small Stone #20*)
My feet have been cold all day.
My heart feels hardened.