I posted on Underbellie today! I hope people find it helpful.
& here’s a “family photo” from the Drag Show on the 12th. Our friend Chris, his daughter Erin, his wife Terrance (sp?), and his son or daughter (my son) Nels.
I posted on Underbellie today! I hope people find it helpful.
& here’s a “family photo” from the Drag Show on the 12th. Our friend Chris, his daughter Erin, his wife Terrance (sp?), and his son or daughter (my son) Nels.
i thought that was nels, but i was not sure.
Saw the picture before i started reading, of course i should have read it first. oh well. very cool though.
great article on underbellie. It was great to hear more about your past school views, and how you got to where you are now. I have not yet read/watched the links (later, after we eat, I will).
It’s great to read your learning/school/kid stuff for me, because I have no one here to talk to about any of it, and all of B’s friends are in school now. We’ve never tried any kind of school-like thing at home or at a school (other than b’s play-in-the-woods program, which is unschooly as hell), and it’s amazing to see how my kid learns in practice, since we were doing what we are doing based on our ideas, rather than our experience as kids. And it’s fabulous. The whole living-learning-time-space thing is wonderful, for all of us, but I still manage to get shitty and bossy and overbearning as hell from time to time, and i can tell that it is a problem. I have the theory, and most of the practice, but i hate being an occasional oppressive asshole at my kid.
I wanted to comment on underbellie but couldn’t see comment space. So here I am. I try not to be a Kelly Hogaboom groupie, but with posts like that it is so hard. Thank you. We are in the midst of wondering and hemming and hawing about how to handle this all. Your reflections help a lot. Thank you.
@Cole
Yes, that is/was Nels. He was pissed because the heels he wore gave him a blister. Life can be hard for girls.
@shelley
” I still manage to get shitty and bossy and overbearing as hell from time to time, and i can tell that it is a problem.”
Our whole lives we’re basically promised, “when you’re a grownup then YOU’RE the boss”. Then as parents we’re flooded with the message our every thing our child does reflects on US. And of course we have all these fears and desire to control. Etc. So it would be wondrous indeed to see a parent who didn’t come shitty and bossy and overbearing. I haven’t met such a parent but I know one exists. Oddly my father comes the closest. In some ways he’s a role model.
“I have the theory, and most of the practice, but i hate being an occasional oppressive asshole at my kid.”
I know what you mean. Of course! If I use those moments to examine deeply what is wrong, what is bothering me, I always find the answer. Over time, slowly, glacially, I am becoming less irritable with my children and less likely to lash out with rude behavior. It’s a slow process for me, maybe it is quicker for others.
Thanks for your comment, and it was nice to see you here!
@Elizabeth
I’m glad to help! That’s one of the major reasons I write – in hopes I can help in any way. Thank you for reading, and thanks for your comment!
Just wanted to add my comment of appreciation for your article on Underbellie — I really enjoyed it. Thanks so much for continuing to share your experiences on these issues. When I recount OUR journey into life-learning, while I also list the wise words of Wendy Priesnitz, I list you as being a huge influence and incredible help. Thank you.
“Over time, slowly, glacially, I am becoming less irritable with my children and less likely to lash out with rude behavior.”
Thanks for this, too. Like Shelley, I still find myself slipping into asshole mode. There’s hope for me, yet! Thank god my kids are also there to let me know when I’ve gone wrong. They are all. over. my ass if I do, which is kind of awesome.
@C
Thank you for the kind words. I truly wonder if there are parents/carers who are kind and do not resent, lash out, get angry, control, etc. There must be people out there who have an easier time than I have to change my habits.
However, I just have me, and that’s cool today. There was a time I was not to kind to myself over my mistakes. That’s changing too, but slowly.
Thank you for commenting!