owies

I’ve had kidney issues since I was sixteen, stones only (no infections, thank goodness, and no urinary problems otherwise). It was under a year ago a specialist first told me I had renal tubular acidosis, type two, and that this was a birth defect, in other words a problem I’ve always had and that I didn’t “cause” in any way. Which is still a bit odd to think about. Maybe because by and large I got about an eighteen year hiatus from horrible attacks, I’d just have one now and then, a few achy pains. I had some acute painful attacks last fall which resulted in treatment and a (minor but unpleasant and terrifying) surgical procedure.

Today, to my dismay, I had to drive myself to the ER because at about twelve twenty I realized I was about to have a world of hurt, as the pain ramped up and up and up. Passing a stone, I guess, or my body is getting ready to. It’s a pretty horrible pain, and I’ve experienced gallstones and natural childbirth (and unnatural childbirth!). So.

I didn’t want to take myself to the hospital. I didn’t want to be in pain, I didn’t want to have to change plans, which meant changing other people’s plans. I didn’t want to incur more medical expenses. And while writhing in a helpless and contained way on a small cot, and feeling more nausea than I’d ever felt in my life, so far, and crying by myself in harsh lighting, I didn’t want to consider another invasive procedure in my future.

But anyway all of that went down, and I chose to accept this, as exhausting as it feels. My kids and husband came to my side and helped me at the hospital. And everyone on the hospital staff was very, very kind.

In other news, yesterday some apparently very kind and loving ANONYMOUS soul left me a monetary gift at a local shop I teach at. That was wonderful timing as we are 1 1/2 months behind on rent, so this gave me some grace money to take the kids out and get some food, and save a little besides. I can’t think who the donor might be, and I suppose if they are anonymous I’m not supposed to know. I wanted to write more about this event, but I’m not feeling well at the moment.

So yeah. I’ve had a tiring day, full of pain and nausea, four needle pricks, IV fluids and strong medicine, and lots and lots of vomiting. I’m also having a medicine hangover so I need to rest.

But I’ll write more soon when I can.

Good night.

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