For St. Patrick’s Day I spent two days in preparation: a soda bread with caraway seed, corned beef, roasted cabbage and butter carrots – all vegan. I have a very pragmatic attitude toward cooking: I do my best, but I also know it doesn’t always work out. In this case, my efforts paid off. It’s funny I make traditional Irish fare as I don’t even care for it. I guess I love these small rituals, these observances. I also enjoy cooking – now that I don’t have to do it every day, three times a day.
I drive the two boys to the pizza parlour and hand my son my debit card. Despite the fact my children are old enough to walk here and there I have a fear of them being struck by a car – either while they are in a car themselves, or while they are walking. I tell them, “be careful”, and maybe I shouldn’t but I can’t help myself. When they were very small, I worried about drowning. I’d walk over a bridge carrying one baby and holding the hand of the older and I’d have horrible visions.
My son and his best friend are so happy together. They spend about twenty hours immersed in their own word – mostly gaming and eating and laughing – before the lad’s mother texts and asks us to send him home. My son comes and finds me shortly after and wants solace. He is a young man now but he still seeks me out. Both children do so I am surprised to think, perhaps it will always be like this.
Both Ralph and I have a weekend full of volunteer work: cooking for others and hosting events, answering phone calls and texts and email: he as an eSports advisor, me in the Recovery community. I am vaguely sensing I need some down time, a break; I am also uncertain when I will take one. I love my work (paid and volunteer) so much that in the morning I almost spring awake – but I also know I am out of balance, overworked, stretched thin.
On that account my child has finished their last paper of their community college career; they study for two more finals and are finished in a couple days. The entire family is getting used to the idea of them being finished; I know that we will then be onto driving school, and trying to fund a car, and trying to set up a (quasi-)business for this child.
Years ago when I got sober people in Recovery used to tell me about a life “beyond one’s wildest dreams”. I am experiencing that now and it is very funny. It seems to take as much focus and mindfulness as anything else, and it seems to be entirely out of my control. I do pray daily and lately I have felt so much gratitude for our health and safety. These things will be threatened in time, but every day we have them is very precious indeed.
3/18/2018:
I am grateful to sleep in today. I have been a bit underslept so today was a small victory.
I am grateful for our health and safety!
I am grateful we are still SQUEAKING by this pay period! It’s nice not to have accounts in overdraft.
I am grateful for coffee in the morning, and I am gratified to learn my homemade creamer is better than the best storebought one I have!
I am grateful for teens, I absolutely love caring for them. They are affectionate and fun and wickedly funny!
I am grateful for volunteer work today – a large print schedule, creating that, and working with others to help the Recovery community.
I am grateful for yoga today. Every day so far this year!
I am grateful for dinner – perfecting a few more recipes for our self-published cookbook.
I am grateful for game night – we played Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime. Very very fun!
I am grateful for a hot shower and cozy PJs and a soft bed.
Goodnight!
3/19/2018:
Once again, very poor sleep. So today I am grateful I was able to rest.
I am grateful for coffee in the morning and sunshine. I am grateful for yoga practice!
I am grateful for our health and for the safety of my family. So many people in this world have to live in fear for their lives, or safety, or wellbeing, or with food insecurity. I am grateful for what we have.
Beeps and I picked up Chinese food and I snuggled them to sleep in my bed, which was very sweet. Tomorrow are their last two finals and then they are set to graduate. It feels unreal! 🙂
I am grateful for a small store of cash that has lasted us through payday… so far. Six more days to go but I’m not pressed.
I am grateful my mom and Nels had a little date today! They love hanging out together.
I am grateful for movie night tonight with Nicole! We also had an excellent fried rice dinner.
I am grateful for hugs and affection from Ralph. He and I have been so tired out lately but we have been connecting a great deal.
Two of my friends have sobriety birthdays today – I am grateful for their sobriety and for their influence in my life.
A great yoga practice today! Every day so far this year.
I am grateful for fabrics in the mail – for my friend A.!
I am grateful for my friend R. who listened to me and talked with me today about something that was concerning me.
I am grateful for a hot shower and cozy PJs and the best bed ever!
Goodnight!
Thank you for sharing. Reading your gratitudes this morning helped me!
@dianna
I am so glad to hear that! 🙂
3/22/2018:
I am grateful for sleep last night.
I am grateful for a safe and lovely home! And I am so grateful for who I get to share it with.
I am grateful for coffee in the morning, and for my yoga practice. Every day this year!
Today I read from the Dhammapada before I got up to do work. It was so helpful for me.
I am in the process of seeking medical attention for fatigue. I am grateful to have a lifestyle where I can rest while I wait for a doctor.
I am grateful for work I got done today – sewing a hat, a hoodie, and getting fabric ready for a client’s dress trousers.
I am grateful for a little cash, and to be able to buy groceries!
Tonight I took a newcomer to a meeting and got to experience a meeting myself… I am very grateful for my sobriety.
I am grateful for dinner tonight – fried rice and chow mein – and for a meal together as a family.
I am grateful for soft PJs and a soft bed and a wonderful partner to snuggle with!
Goodnight!
3/24/2018:
I am grateful for sleep last night, and to wake feeling well.
I am grateful for sunshine, and for a warm and safe and loving home.
I am grateful for our health! The kids and Ralph and I have not been sick in a very long time. While I think about it, it has been over a year and a half since I’ve had intense kidney pain. I am grateful for that, too!
I am grateful for work: making a pair of trousers, and two jersey ity tops, for a client. I am also grateful for an assignment in reviewing pattern methods for a pattern company I adore.
Today I had about six hours of volunteer work to do. A little more than feels balanced… but I did it anyway. I am grateful for the opportunity.
I am grateful for my partner and very grateful for a strong marriage.
I am grateful payday is coming soon! We had a tight squeeze, this pay period!
I am grateful for new clients… and ones I’ve had a while. They are all to a soul, wonderful to work with.
I am grateful for friends with good news… babies, engagements, new jobs! 🙂
I am grateful for yoga! Every day this year. Some days are harder than others and today was not an easy day.
I am grateful for a shower and cozy pajamas and a little snuggling and murder mystery telly before bed.
Goodnight!