Yesterday my son had his fourteenth birthday party, and it was a small and sweet event. We gathered friends and they carpooled to a swim date while Phoenix and I set up food and music in the house. The group adjourned home for homemade chili and cornbread, fruit salad, virgin mimosas, cake and ice cream. I bought Nels a little Instamax camera and we took instant film photos indoors and outside. Our friends and family – my mother, brother, and sister-in-law – gave generous, thoughtful gifts and my son loved being the center of attention. I tried to hold onto each moment of the day because my children are growing so quickly.
I felt down that evening, as I have been of late. Our son came into the bedroom before he went off to bed and Ralph and I it was his favorite birthday so far. That’s high praise, as we’ve had several very special parties indeed.
Besides the camera, I made him two birthday shirts: a chambray workshirt with pearl snaps and a long-sleeved tee in cheerful red and white. The spring has brought sunshine and with it, I realize – as I so often do – how low I’d been feeling with all the grey, rainy weather. Today Ralph and I took our aging (and ill) dog on a trail walk and it did the three of us good; the dog was limping but eager to continue. Skunk cabbage and verdant greenery; loamy earth and trickling creek. It was an oasis after a hardworking week.
Below, plackets. I enjoy so much being able to sew a menswear shirt without needing directions. These shirts are now soothing to me to make, despite troubles with my trusty Pfaff. I’m planning on making my brother, and my husband, similar shirts in the next two weeks. I’ve struggled with unspeakably painful sadness and anxiety over the last few weeks and it seems like making someone something special is such a pitiful, mundane thing. But it is something I can do and it’s something so few others can. And so I endeavor.
4/22/2018:
I had horrible sleep last night but do you know what? I still had some sleep. So I am grateful I had some sleep, and I am grateful I have a life where I don’t have to run on zero or little sleep.
I am grateful for sunshine, and for coffee with my partner this morning.
I am grateful for a walk with Ralph and Hutch. Hutch is very ill and needs a lot of medical treatment.
I got to meet with two lovely clients today, and talk about dress design. This was a delight!
I also had some volunteer work this evening, and I feel so grateful for the other volunteers. I am glad I take the time to help others no matter how rubbish I am feeling in general.
I am grateful for our house, which is lovely and calm and safe.
I am grateful for lunch today – fried rice with roasted tofu.
I am grateful for yoga – every day this year so far.
I am grateful for a hot shower, and pajamas and a soft bed and a partner and kitty to share the bed with.
Goodnight!
4/25/2018:
I am grateful for sleep last night, and to wake feeling well.
Absolutely gorgeous day today. Yesterday the kids and I planted new cherry tomatoes and blue lake bush beans. Today I got to water all my indoor plants and feel happy about that.
I am grateful for coffee in the morning, and time to myself.
I am grateful for work in the studio: listening to a podcast while sewing up a men’s shirt in a lovely chambray.
I am grateful for grocery money!
I am grateful for yoga. Every day this year. Today was a bit of a challenge but I stuck with it.
I made a huge fabric order as I have several garments I am creating for clients. I am grateful I get to do such wonderful work!
I am grateful for time together with some of my favorite women.
I am grateful for movie night with the family!
I am grateful for a hot shower, a soft bed and people to share it with.
Goodnight!
4/26/2018:
I had a terrible time falling asleep last night – terrible anxiety and fearful thoughts. But I eventually fell asleep and I got a few hours; I am grateful for that.
I am so grateful for my body which feels amazing. I credit veganism & yoga. Truly feel fabulous in my body!
I am grateful for coffee in the morning, and gorgeous sunshine!
I had a hot tub and sauna date today with a friend… it was lovely.
I am grateful for some time working on a special shirt today. I should be finished tomorrow.
I am grateful for a trip to the tide pools today with the kids, and getting coffee together. They are such lovely company!
I am grateful to sit and talk with Ralph while he cooked dinner.
I am grateful for yoga today. EVERY day this year!
I am grateful for a full schedule of sewing dresses for friends. 🙂
I am grateful for a hot shower and cozy PJs and a soft and awesome bed!
Goodnight!
5/1/2018:
I am grateful for a deep sleep last night, and to wake feeling rested.
I am grateful for sunshine, a clean and safe and loving home, and fresh coffee in my kitchen.
I am grateful to finish up some admin – ordering sewing patterns (seven) and cataloging photos.
I am grateful for new clients and for many many yards of fabric heading my way!
I am grateful for my new coffee tumbler, for my bean and cherry tomato sprouts that are doing so well, and for all our flowers outside!
I am grateful for friends who are supportive. Not every friend of mine knows how to listen without giving advice or judgment. I am coming to really appreciate a few of my friends so very much.
I am grateful for my family’s good health; Nels had a dentist appointment today and I am grateful we can find medical care.
I am grateful for a meeting tonight and to get to see my friends, including Chris and Scott and Jen.
I am grateful for yoga – every day this year! I found a new way to practice Crow pose and I’m really enjoying it.
I am grateful for a delicious dinner and sitting with the family to watch The Mighty Boosh together, which is SUCH our jam!
I am grateful for a hot shower and cozy PJs and a soft bed and a candle and time with Ralph together.
Goodnight!