It’s 11 PM but my husband makes me blueberry pancakes from scratch. They are perfect: three identical, steaming hot and delectable confections. Vegan butter and hot maple syrup. There is a little extra batter so he makes a few more, doling out between each teen. Hot food; sleepy belly.
I have been craving the comfort of foods off and on lately. I am in a constant state of creativity and mourning. My marriage is, for me, opening into a beautiful phase and I love spending time with my husband, I love how he smells, I love how he feels, I love hearing about his day.
I am still rather gutted my children are growing up. They are never again going to be the small children I cared for, for so many years. They are still so sweet, funny, and affectionate – and for this I am glad. Beeps had a wretched cold for a day; during that time they asked me pointedly for more attention and more TLC, and this is something I could grant. We put on the 1978 classic animated film Watership Down and felt the powerful, dramatic score clutch at our hearts. Nels, who was not exposed to the film or music as a young one, scoffed at us and we shouted him away.
Today, a footnote: we drove out to Westport into a gloomy, oppressive cloud cover, to meet with a friend and secure a small kitten for babysitting. Our friend is out of the country for about eight days and during this time we are stewards to this very tiny, very fluffy grey kitten who is now attempting to run our household. We introduce him to so many firsts: hot pancakes, and four stodgy adults kitties, and of course the best kitten-minder of all: Hutch.
And maybe – well there’s no “maybe” about it – my desire to secure a little kitten ward for a few days is that desire to do something fun for the children, something rather superfluous and silly, something that brings us together. Much like the foster kittens of (exactly) two years ago, little J. here will sneak behind the stove and into the warming pan – there’s just something about that spot.
5/8/2018:
I am grateful for deep sleep last night, and waking feeling rested.
I am grateful for gorgeous sunshine today – and rain in the evening! The air smelled wonderful.
I am grateful for the health and safety of my partner and children.
Today we had so many errands to do and we got them all done!
I am grateful for a lunch date with Beeps.
I am grateful for our tax return, and for successfully filing business taxes – Ralph did that and I am so grateful.
I am grateful for friends who call and text.
I am grateful for my work which is so creative and amazing. I had a huge setback today but I also know that setbacks happen and I can keep going.
I am grateful for yoga. Every day this year!
I am grateful for dinner tonight – breakfast food. Odwalla oj, blueberry pancakes, tempeh bacon, and tofu scramble.
I am grateful for a hot shower and a soft bed.
Goodnight!
5/10/2018:
I am grateful for great sleep last night, and to wake well rested.
I am grateful for sunshine today, and a lovely morning walk with Hutch and Herbert Pocket. She would sprint along then settle in long grass and watch us with her evil little eyes, and then sprint along again.
I am grateful for the health and safety of my partner and children. Ralph and Nels were out of town for a couple days and I’m so glad to have them back!
I am grateful for hot coffee in the morning!
I am grateful for a meeting with a ladyfriend, getting to help her with her resume, with a job search, a cover letter.
I am grateful for the little kitten visitor we have, and to get to get some extra snuggles.
I am grateful for yoga! Every day this year.
I am grateful for a visit to a friend out in Ocean Shores.
I am grateful for two days with Phoenix, having a lot of time and good conversation together.
I am grateful to finish up a lovely linen dress today!
I am grateful for a hot shower and cozy PJs and a soft bed.
Goodnight!