The pandemic and resultant quarantine – as Washington state residents, we’re early adopters – would be scary enough in any case, but it sucks when you’ve got children, even presumably healthy ones. Small children always seem so vulnerable; my teenagers, however, can have grownup-sized anxieties with a tad bit less historical perspective than might otherwise give them comfort.
Today, coincidentally, was the first day of the year I felt the heat of spring when I opened the door. My first thought: the planet will survive. We human beings have made some big messes and stand to make more. The planet utterly doesn’t give a fuck.
Phoenix and I went on a neighborhood walk, carefully observing distancing practices of course. Just a simple walk – after only a week of quarantine – felt invigorating, sacred. I asked how his friends were doing. I asked how he was holding up. In is social circle, Phoenix occupies a similar role as I do in mine – expected to support, expected to listen and empathize, expected to be that emotional buffer for others. I tell him to be cautious about this. I tell him, “the day before yesterday I fielded a lot of calls. I felt just fine all day long, listening to others and helping them. But then that night I was beset by anxiety and couldn’t fall asleep until six A.M.”
Update: this sew-along is finished, and all videos are linked at the bottom of the post!
Well, we did it.
We hosted twelve months of sewing goodness!
I have enjoyed, so very much, designing these classes and livestreaming with you all.
This month, we made a pair of jeans! In my videos (four in total) I will start with a bit of fitting advice – and a bit of conversation about all the different parts of the jeans.
I’m using a pattern I drafted myself, for a friend – however, all jeans should have some version of the following pieces – design features you should become acquainted with. These are explained in my first video.
[ video 1: cutting and marking ]
[ video 2: pockets, front and back ]
[ video 3: front fly & side seams ]
[ video 4: waistband, carriers, and finishing ]
SUPPLIES:
Rotary cutter and mat; marking tools & tracing medium
Sewing machine with balanced zig zag; sewing machine manual
To make jeans you will need:
your pattern
your denim, pocket fabric & – optional – extra fabric for a muslin
construction thread & topstitching thread
zipper and button
sewing machine needles (jeans, sharp, or universal; topstitching if you use a heavy thread)
Today another little piece of my history smoldered and stuttered out. The hardware store I worked at age seventeen closed abruptly. Employees were given notice two days ago. I only found out this evening, a few hours after they shuttered for good.
The hardware store was my second-ever job. But more relevantly I worked there alongside my father, who served there much of my life.
Working with him was such an incredible joy.
My dad loved his job and he was good at his job. His customers esteemed him too. Especially the women, because he was helpful, professional, kind, tall, and courteous. Later I’d found out so many men don’t live up.
So sure I learned about plumbing and electrical stuff and how to make keys and what kinds of creepy chemicals and solvents did what, and how a pressure cooker worked and some basics of automotive care. Yeah. But more than that, I learned something truly valuable. I learned how important it was not to squander my working hours, if at all possible. I learned to place my self-respect over a paycheck if at all possible and I mean if at all possible, and over status and over what other people’s expectations were – or what I guessed they might be.
Being raised female, I’d been told a hundred ways by a thousand people that I needed to make everyone happy before I could even think about my needs. So that was set against me. But I learned something different, in working with my father. I don’t remember a single speech or lecture. I remember his example. It somehow shone through a lot of life’s dross.
That’s how I learned how to love a job – and to respect myself at a job. That’s how I learned to love a good man, and I suppose in part how I ended up finding a good man.
So today it hurt a little to know I couldn’t walk through the aisles one last time, to bring my sons along and just tell them a little about it, before taking them out to coffee. See I know those aisles would smell the same as twenty-five years ago, in the low golden light the place always seemed to hold. Fertilizer and rubber and the little drawers of precious lamp switches and chains, and a bleachy squeak and most the things you need for your home and if you couldn’t find those things, Dave could tell you where else to look.
It hurt a little to know that a bit more of my father is gone, that I too have diminished. Yet again! Another one of life’s grubby little robberies.
But, shit. I don’t connect with self-pity when it goes up in smoke, if it’s stolen, dies out or fades away. That’s life! Like – it’s all going to burn, right? There is no posterity, some day it will all be annihilated, and it has often seemed a great and silly game that so many want to pretend otherwise. Who doesn’t know this? Damn. I find comfort in that absurdity, that groundlessness.
Another thing I learned at my father’s hand: my Buddhist practice.
So I just grieve. It’s simpler. I’ll miss the store – terribly, of course. Like I miss my family home, like I miss my grandparents’ home, like I miss all those things lost to me. Like I miss my father.
But see: I had them. I held these things, I moved through these rooms and that sun fell on my face. I will always be grateful for this golden dust in my veins, shaking it in my tingling fingertips. I can still feel that life. I won’t lose that gratitude. That, I treasure and hold as mine.
And I honor loss. That’s why I write about it here.
But I’m not sure I’d enjoy things as much as I do, if I felt entitled to them staying exactly the way I want them, for exactly as long as I demand.
I cannot believe this is the penultimate post in this series! I have enjoyed, so very much, designing these classes and livestreaming with you all.
This month, we are making a simple button-up shirt – sometimes called a “dress shirt”. In truth, you can make this garment as casual or as elegant as you like depending on your fabrics and techniques. In this case, our dress shirt has the following:
1. a front placket with buttons and buttonholes 2. a collar and separate stand 3. a long, cuffed sleeve 4. a curved hem 5. a back yoke
The pattern we are using is from Lekala and is named “Shirt – Sewing Pattern #6026” – and it’ s free! Even though the pattern is labeled as “men’s”, in truth it’s simply a boxy-fit shirt that will work on most bodies. If you want something more form-fitting and you have a full bust and/or full hip, you can look for a women’s shirt pattern with darts or princess seams.
The cuff included is a placket cuff, but due to my client’s request I will be making a simple cuff (without an attendant sleeve placket).
Lekala patterns are a bit unique. The pattern is not a multi-size pattern, but is generated according to your measurements. You will need to measure your height, bust/chest, low hip, shoulder width, and center back length to hem. In addition, you will need to put in an indicator for belly protuberance. The site itself has helpful photos of how to take these measurements – just note that there is an error in the center back length to hem diagram. The diagram should show the vertical measurement extending from the neck to the hem of the shirt (not the waist).
Bootstrap patterns can take some getting used to. In a tutorial for their dress form (which is fantastic!), I go into more detail as to how to use their interface. Please post any questions you have below!
One more note on this specific pattern. You can finish the shirt with snaps or buttonholes; I will be demonstrating using my old Singer buttonholer. However, you can use whatever buttonhole attachment your machine has to offer. You can also create a buttonhole with a simple zig zag – here’s a great tutorial.
No matter what kind of buttonhole you are creating, you are expected to practice and to make a couple samples!
A reminder that for all sew-alongs in my Seams Legit series you need:
1. a machine with its manual; the machine needs to be tuned-up and sewing a balanced zig-zag
2. the supplies listed in the pattern, as well as a thorough read-through of the pattern you use
This project will take place in installments (edit: these are linked at the bottom of this post).
SUPPLIES:
Rotary cutter and mat; marking tools & tracing medium
Sewing machine with balanced zig zag; sewing machine manual
Just one teensy tiny anecdote about what it’s like supporting a trans child.
I’m at a medical appointment with my oldest.
Practitioner: chit-chat chit-chat [misgenders my child] chit-chat. Then she says right away, “I really like the name Phoenix!”
Me: “Thank you! You know, he picked that name out himself. When he was eight! So I can’t take the credit!”
Practitioner seems taken aback, because of the pronoun correction probably but also, in my experience, people often don’t understand how a child could “pick out” their own name.
“What… what was their name before?”
Me, smiling and relaxed and making eye contact and really hearing that question and answering a bit slowly: “You know, I don’t usually share that! Because… he’d prefer I don’t.”
Practitioner says something polite, seems a little uncertain (and may have been worried she shouldn’t have asked that) but the room still feels pretty relaxed.
Me [laughing]: “You know it’s amazing when your child wants to change their name, it’s like – dang my feelings are hurt a little! I’m so used to it now – it’s been years.”
Practitioner nods and laughs, then:
Phoenix: “I think of it as a gift. It’s a gift my mom gave me,” – he places his hands forward in a little open prayer shape – “and I appreciated it, and I decided to pass it on.”
***
These interactions happen pretty regularly. I am not complaining about this practitioner at all. She was kind throughout, I’ll add.
I will say if you are not trans, you have no idea what it’s like to be stared at, to be subject to gender policing, constant misgendering, hostile glares, invasive questions, physical threats – all of the above due to your perceived gender identity. I don’t know what that’s like either, as I am cisgender. But it’s fatiguing, I can tell you that much.
By way of one tiny example, my entire life I have been able to stroll into a bathroom and know no one will question why I’m in there or hate crime my ass because of how they perceive my gender and whether it belongs to me. So, I didn’t think much about public bathrooms for much of my life. But I have a teeny tiny window into the difficulty now, due to how much time I’m with my child and/or supporting my child. Life is much harder, when one can’t relax about public bathrooms! Single use and genderless restrooms are literally a public health issue, but many cisgender people don’t see that nor advocate for these bathrooms as passionately as they should.
I remember the first time my oldest child used the men’s changing room at a department store. I will never forget the employee (Aberdeen Marshalls) who said, “OK sir – right this way!” and escorted my child with a relaxed wave of her arm. Bless that fucking woman. I sat there with tears welling up in my eyes and tried to act casual. I’d been prepared for something else.
It’s not that people who are inclusive or who do the right thing deserve special acclaim, or a medal. It’s that I can be so apprehensive that I get this flood of relief when people are kind or bare-minimum decent.
So if you’re cisgender, when you think or say, “Why don’t ‘they’ – ” I want to encourage you to shut up one hundred percent and stop talking. You’re just wrong, you’re embarrassing yourself, and you can do better. And while there are people who might be willing to take you under their wing and explain things to you – sometimes I’m that person! – at the end of the day, if you keep doggedly grasping old ideas and crummy ones you might find people aren’t too patient with you nor interested in you.
Phoenix and I discussed this conversation when we got in the car. We giggled about it a bit. “I think [the practitioner] was just ignorant,” Phoenix said – meaning, did not pick up on clues that Phoenix was trans, and in general is undereducated on trans issues. I think that is an accurate assessment.
I can’t speak for Phoenix, but I can say ignorance is interesting to me. We are all ignorant in some way or another. But how we handle things when our ignorance is exposed – that is the mark of our character.
OK so – last month, we made up our trousers. I almost perished here and there, but we got through it – with great results, to be honest!
So listen – this month we’re amping things up before our break for Halloween sewing in October. We are making an anorak – a loose-fitting, raglan coat featuring lots of pockets, sleeve tabs, a detachable hood – and a full lining!
It’s going to be legit!
The pattern we are using for this sew-along is the Andie pattern by Rebecca Page. There are two versions of the pattern: a child’s and a women’s (you can also buy both in the bundle). You can see plenty of great tester photos in the Facebook album!
Child’s: Chest: 16 1/2″ to 30″
Women’s Bust: 30″ – 54″ Hip: 33″ – 57″
A reminder that for all sew-alongs in my Seams Legit series you need:
1. a machine with its manual; the machine needs to be tuned-up and sewing a balanced zig-zag
2. the supplies listed in the pattern, as well as a thorough read-through of the pattern you use
This sew-along will take place in installments:
1. September 25, 2019: cutting, interfacing, & marking [ video here ]2. September 26, 2019: back, loops, and straps [ video here ]3. September 27, 2019: coat construction [ video here ]4. September , 2019: finishing and hood [ video here ]
SUPPLIES:
Rotary cutter and mat; marking tools & tracing medium
Sewing machine with balanced zig zag; sewing machine manual
Hello and – how are you faring in the heat (Northern Hemisphere peeps)? We had a great time last month sewing a hoodie. This month we are making trousers!
So listen – this sew-along separates the wheat from the chaff. The women from the girls. The homies from the squares! It isn’t so much that this project is difficult, it is just rather detail-oriented! The good news is, we will gain experience in some great techniques: a lapped zip fly, faced front pockets, welt back pockets, and a waistband with belt loops.
A reminder that for all sew-alongs in my Seams Legit series you need:
1. a machine with its manual; the machine needs to be tuned-up and sewing a balanced zig-zag
2. the supplies listed in the pattern, as well as a thorough read-through of the pattern you use
This sew-along will take place in three installments:
1. August 2nd, 2019: cutting, interfacing, & marking [ video here ]2. August 16th*, 2019: front and back pockets, plus zip fly [ video here ]3. August 30th, 2019: pant construction & finishing [ video here ]
SUPPLIES:
Rotary cutter and mat; marking tools & tracing medium
Sewing machine with balanced zig zag; sewing machine manual
* In the second video, during the back welt pockets, I have a bit of a struggle. This is due to a discrepancy in the pattern, where it refers to the RS/WS of the pockets. If, like me, you are using a printed fabric and want the print to show when the pants are inside out, you will be attaching the facings (for front pockets and back pockets) to the unprinted side. I apologize for my muddle in the video!
Pierogis are time intensive. You can make the sour cream, the dough, and the potato filling the day before. Refrigerate them all, and place the dough on the counter for about an hour before you split the dough into balls.
Makes 32 pierogis!
Sour cream 1 cup raw cashews, soaked overnight or boiled twenty minutes 2 teaspoons nutritional yeast 1/2 teaspoon pink salt, plus more to taste juice of one lemonwater
Dough 5 cups flour 2 teaspoons salt 2 teaspoons baking powder 2 teaspoons yeast 2 teaspoons sugar 1/3 cup vegan butter softened lukewarm water
Filling 3 medium potatoes 1/3 cup soy milk 1/3 cup vegan butter 1/2 cup nutritional yeast juice of one lemon black pepper seasoning salt
Peanut oil for frying
Sour cream: Rinse the cashews and process them, adding the remaining ingredients and water to the consistency you’d like. Process, process, process, using a spatula to scrape down the mix periodically. Be patient. You can get the sour cream very smooth! Salt to taste then set in the refrigerator, covered.
Dough: Mix dough ingredients using enough water to make a very soft, tacky dough. Kneading for several minutes; really take your time kneading and add water sparingly. While you don’t want the dough to stick to the table, a softer dough will roll out better and a firm one will be frustrating. Set in an oiled bowl to rise until doubled in size (or refrigerate overnight, removing the bowl two hours before you want to start forming balls for the pierogis).
Potato filling: Peel and wash potatoes; cut into even chunks about the size of a golf ball. Bring a tureen of salted water to boil. Boil potatoes until tender when pieced with a fork. Drain the potatoes, then rice or mash them well until they are smooth (don’t use a mixer or food processor)! Heat the soy milk and add it as well as the rest of the filling ingredients, whisking and varying the lemon juice to taste.
To assemble: Clean your counter space and lightly dust with flour. When the dough has warmed to room temperature, split it into 32 even sections (by first splitting the dough into two halves, then each section halves again, and so forth) and roll these 32 blobs into a ball, placing these balls next to one another and covering with a damp cloth or plastic wrap. Let rest thirty minutes and lay out waxed paper for the formed pierogis.
Place a dish of lukewarm water at hand. Heat a large tureen of salted water while you stuff the pierogis. I simply mash each ball with the palm of my hand, and my pierogi partner fills them with about 1 1/2 tablespoons of filling. Before sealing, wet half the dough circle rim with water and really pinch them closed, carefully enclosing all your potato filling (you will get the hang of this quickly). Set each pierogi on wax paper until they are all finished and in a series of rows.
Pinch them closed again right before boiling! A split pierogi is a sad thing. I mean, so I hear. I’ve never split one, myself! :brag:
Carefully add the pierogi to the now-boiling tureen by slipping them in the water. Gently boil the pierogi in batches. Since this is a yeasted dough, they will likely float right away. Carefully turn them in the soft boil and cook about five minutes, until they are glossy and sealed. Remove each one with a slotted spoon, back to a rack so they can drain. You want them as dry as possible for the next stage.
When the pierogi are boiled go ahead and carefully pour out your tureen, wipe down your stovetop, and set your pan(s) out to fry on medium high heat (I use two large cast iron pans). Add a healthy bit of peanut oil and get the pan all warmed up. Carefully add pierogi to the pan(s) – they might sputter a bit – being careful not to overcrowd as you cook in batches. You might fiddle with the heat a bit here; you want them to cook to golden brown relatively quickly. Remove each to a warm plate as you cook.
Serve pierogi with a side of sour cream and watch them disappear! It’s *magic*!
The restaurant is crowded with happy Friday night diners; the delicious headiness of frying onions and peppers, brisk steps of servers walking between tables, jubilant voices bubbling over one another. In the foyer, a woman in a smart apron stands at a portable bar smashing ripe avocado with a large mortar and pestle, right on the spot making guacamole. She scoops small portions of this deliciousness into cups, garnishes each with a fresh tortilla chip, and passes the delightful repast to waiting customers.
We have ordered, our drinks are arriving, and it’s time to wash hands. I stand, and my eldest hovers at my elbow. “You’re fine, you can do it,” I say cheerfully, and put a confident hand on his back. We split up into our separate restrooms and I am in and out quickly; hair standing on the back of my neck, a deep breath. Every journey into a public men’s room is fraught and I relentlessly muster a casual confidence I do not always feel. Every other diner in the place has no clue; they are chattering, lifting frosty drinks to mouths, forks busy. But a simple family dinner out is a little less simple for us, most of the time.
My sons speak the same language these days, back and forth, snickering over phone screens and sharing meme-speak. Nels came out as gay June 1st and it seems to have brought the two of them closer together. Their disagreements have matured, as well; and they argue rarely. A terse word here or there, and the other will usually back off. I can’t say there aren’t resentments here or there simmering beneath the surface, but mostly they get on like a house on fire.
Their temperaments are, as ever, the moon and the sun. Phoenix, the eldest, solicitous, more community-minded within the family. Nels, recently hooked in to a group of five teen boys who are passionately gaming and socializing together every waking hour, well Nels is a little flightier, a little more self-absorbed.
Astonishingly, my scheduled two-week break from work is almost up. Time is flying, of course. In spite of this I have enjoyed more time with the boys, more time reading barely-historical novels and watching creepy television, and more time for family projects – for instance, today, surprising Ralph on his birthday by having car speakers installed and scrubbing the kitchen floor.
I am continually amazed at how quickly those early child-rearing days flew. And it seems I receive so many reminders; as friends, old and new, have their own babies. I drank deeply of those early years, and they passed so quickly regardless. It’s easy to lose my head and rush off to more work and new things, but I know if I’m not very mindful this present reality will fly by, too.
Update: both videos are up (#1 and #2)! They are linked at the bottom of this post.
It’s July – already! We had a great time last month sewing up a sundress. This month we are making a zip hoodie! I know, I know – for those of you in the Northern Hemisphere it might be hot as balls outside. But the thing is, this means it’s also evening bonfire weather – and believe it or not, fall isn’t that far off.
A reminder that for all sew-alongs in my Seams Legit series you need:
1. a machine with its manual; the machine needs to be tuned-up and sewing a balanced zig-zag
2. the supplies listed in the pattern, as well as a thorough read-through of the pattern you use
I demonstrate all my cutting with rotary and mat. You will need your fabrics pre-washed, and your fabric pieces cut by Friday the 26th at noon PST. I will demonstrate the homework/fabric prep, in a video at the bottom of this post.
SUPPLIES:
Rotary cutter and mat
Sewing machine with balanced zig zag; sewing machine manual
drawstring fabric & contrast fabric for drawstring eyelet
separating zipper
non-stretch interfacing (1/8 yard)
As I mentioned at the beginning of the year, each project gets successively more complex. This hoodie – especially as it’s sewn in a stable knit – isn’t difficult at all – just a few steps. And the absolutely gorgeous details – like the little welt pockets? – are going to make you feel like a rock star when you’re finished!
So here’s what you need to do:
1. read through this post & purchase your pattern & supplies;
So if you look below – for an individual with a chest of 40″, waist of 37″, and hip of 42″, you will see this individual falls within the Medium size. This is the size I will print and cut.
Once you’ve determined the size you need, you will be cutting out your paper pattern and your fabrics. Below, I’ve attached both videos in the series. By the end of the first video you will have all your fabrics and interfacing strips cut out. By the end of the second, your hoodie will be completed.
In the first video, I only cut out two pocket pieces; you should cut out four.
In the second video, I baste-fit the front of the hoodie for the zipper insertion, then I abandoned this method to pin instead. The zipper insertion is the most difficult part of the hoodie. When you get to my baste-fitting adventure, ignore that part of the lesson. Relax and have a sip of tea, or read ahead, or tidy your sewing space.
Any questions? Feel free to ask them in the comments below.
