1, 2, 3 – easy

I had three Tinies all day today: my 1 yr. old, my friends’ 2 yr. old, and my 3 yr. old. My friend was desirous of childcare because she is pregnant and ready (mentally, anyway) to have this baby – definitely needs time to nap and nest, whatnot. Picking up her child, I was looking at her body (gives new meanting to the word “gravid”) and thinking of what a strange mental place she is occupying. I remember it: body heavy with child; nerves keyed, sluggish yet sleepless; cranky – it’s hard to understand unless you’ve been there, but there is a part of you that truly believes you are in some Twilight Zone where you will never have this child. It’s what has to happen, I suppose, for a woman to be ready to face the trials of labor.

Another curiosity – today went perfect. Even with an extra kid and the normal course of errands – and pouring down rain. Nothing happened I couldn’t take care of easily; kids had a great time; got everyone napping at the same time. Even Dog took a break from naughtiness (he feels badly about tearing up my strawberries, I can tell). So my question is, why is it my days can be blissful or completely hair-pulling?

For dinner – making a little snowpea soup and asian cabbage salad for dinner.

np – The White Stripes’ Elephant

TWHN (typing with ho-nails)

So. I feel rather poorly right now. It came on about an hour ago – driving home from picking up Dog at a remote location (don’t ask). Lit a cigarette (I’m trying to make this a smoking week) and had to put it out immediately as it made me feel ill. WTF? Got home – hungry but nauseated. Nothing sounds good. Not alcohol or medicine, even. A superhot shower with Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Soap didn’t help. Blogging in bed is helping, sorta. Some early bedtime and cuddling with The Husband will probably be even better. I need some time to tell him about my day, which had quite a few snags. Sometimes I honestly think my kids would be better off with a wire-monkey momma.

diary of a mad seamstress

my Easter doll:

I sewed the skirt last night before bedtime & a movie (Stage Beauty – an odd film, but Billy Crudup is the cutest li’l thing I’ve ever seen). Today: got family to church; deep-cleaned kitchen. Currently working on reversible lamb jumper for gal-pal’s 2 y.o. daughter. For dinner: meatballs; pasta; green beans.

I may be a half-assed mom in some ways but I am going to be a kickass Grandma one day.

living, breathing lives

My parents leave at 5; time for a family walk. We bundle everyone up and take to the small trails in the woodsy areas around our home. My daughter gets a rare turn in the jogging stroller, bundled in a quilt sewn by my mother. My eleven-month-old son is happy in his backpack, looking over my left shoulder. This is his preferred mode of transport. His eyes are green, cheeks flushed in the brisk air, and I can smell his milky breath. I feel blissful. Accompanying us is our neighbor’s dog, who we are sitting for 10 days. He is a Naughty Dog at times, but I love him. He chases off a larger dog in the park; then is beset by (count ’em) three dachshunds and a whippet – turns tail and flees. Sometimes I think dogs don’t mind if it’s themselves who come out ahead, they just like figuring out who.

The Husband and I review our weekend so far. Despite the in-laws – and the dogsitting – and the morning full of babysitting our friends’ child – he and I have had a few moments to ourselves. A morning shower together while Nels napped and Sophie played on her own in the living room. Time in the car with three (relatively) quiet little ones, and now this peaceful, invigorating walk.

Arrive home. My doula friend has dropped off our voice recorder gadget which she borrowed for some of her birthing clients. In reviewing what files to keep and delete I hear the powerful, painful sounds of a woman in advanced labor. Her vocalizations are long moans, pained but in control. I hear whispers in the background. Long moments of silence, playful laughter – some of it by the laboring woman. Listening in feels intimate, almost sexual. What a beautiful sound track for one of the most amazing passages in our lives.

ways to say "I Love You"

When you’re courting as poor college students your beau buys you flowers and a dinner out. Later in life, kids out of the house, 20th anniversary: plane tickets for a Euro trip.

When you’re raising young children together, he fashions a toilet-snake out of a wire hanger and somehow fishes out the diaper liner you accidentally flushed. My hero!

Yeah, the Husband fixed the downstairs commode yesterday – which has turned out invaluable, because the upstairs one has problems as of this morning. Something wrong with the arm in the tank. I can’t get to it because I have two (or more) kids hanging off me at all times. Both chilluns extremely clingy today.

In other news: making dinner for a family with a new baby; yay! it’s the weekend; parents coming up for a day trip tomorrow; Easter with the family

np – Erykah Badu’s “Booty”

verms & cagey blog posts

Just at a dear friend’s learning how to worm compost. This gardening thing is very humbling. I am not usually at “the bottom of the class” on any subject. Mostly because if I find myself there I usually quit really fast (“Duh! I wanted a challenge I could do!” – L.S.). Anyway, with a lot of hard work and help from friends I am slowly getting food to grow on my property.

On a different note, my blog is great, but I can’t write everything I *think* or *do*, due to its public nature. I live in a small town and some of its members read this damn thing. But MAN, I totally want to write about how I kicked a dog in the face today! Whoops, did I say that out loud?

Nah, not really. No canine abuse: in this case, today, a victimless crime. Anyway, I shall struggle on with the endeavor to journal online without getting myself into trouble with friends. Or the law. Tee-hee!

np – Muse, various albums

can you tell me why you have been so sad?

Today was the most brilliant wakeup in so long. All four of us in bed; sunlight filtering in. The Girl scooting up to her brother and kissing him on the mouth: “I love you, Nels.” Everyone waking up cozy, warm, and loved. These are moments in your life you will never have the same again.

After story time at the library, I had four girlfriends over with their babies (all girls!). We ladies are coming out of our winter hibernation. In catching up I can’t believe how much everyone’s lives are in flux. Pregnant, cranky and nervous; workaholic husbands, marriage trouble, friendships strained. To look at us from the outside we seem so boring. But there’s so much going on. Ralph came home for lunch to a roomful of 9 females (Nels was asleep in his room). He took it in stride.

Big date night for The Girl and I. First: sushi with Sindee and Julie. Edamame and rice for the wee one. Then some window shopping; a steamed milk; a carousel ride; and to the movie (Robots – great voice talent, little else to offer).

My life is full of love and I want to hold it in my heart.

you were the mother of three girls so sweet

who stormed through your turnstile and climbed to the street
but after conception your body lay cold
and withered through autumn and you found yourself old

can you tell me why you have been so(sad)

he took a lover on a faraway beach
while you arranged flowers and chose color schemes

can you tell me why you have been so sad?
can you tell me why you have been so sad?

the girls were all there
they traded their vows
the youngest one glared with furrowed brows
they tenderly kissed then cut the cake
the bride then tripped and broke the vase
the one you thought would spend the years
so perfectly placed below the mirror
arriving late you clean the debris
and walked into the angry scene

it felt just like falling in love again
and it felt just like falling in love again

can you tell me why you have been so sad?
can you tell me why you have been so…

I’m still geeking out about it!

It is so frickin’ unfair that by the time we get the kids to bed, get the house cleaned up, and attend to whatever personal business we need to (meaning email, phone calls, IMing, blogging, sitting down with a book, bathroom time, etc.) my husband and I are about out of time. We have to choose between catching up on our day, getting the sleep we need, R&R together, or – uh – “intimate time”. Our late evening choices also need to be sandwiched between what I call the administrative details of the house – who’s going to pay what bill, run what errand, buy which groceries, take the kids when and where. If we choose to do anything at all besides sleep, life is that much harder when The Boy wakes up anywhere from one to five times during the night.

OK, enough bitching. I bred ’em, didn’t I? And I love ’em. And hey, I’m slowly training my 3-y.o. how to babysit my 1-y.o. With much success, I might add.

On an entirely unrelated note – I am *so* irritated I like something that just came out with props in Wired. Lame. Lame!

np – Iron & Wine’s “Jezebel”