Interfacing

in SPACE-VISION™

InterfacingI am elbows-deep in supporting my kids through their schooling and extracurricular activities, paying our bills and keeping house, practicing yoga daily, firing up my B-movie site in a big way (as well as participating in the Bmoviecast and attendant community), and working on a semi-secret (but not really) and massive sewing project.

Also: setting up a 3D super-Wi-Fi blu-ray projector system in our house!

Space-Vision (TM)!

But sadly – all too often, movie night ends in a senseless napping tragedy.

Movie Night

VAMPIRES n shit

“just a bunch of stuff that happened”

Yoga. Tonight on the floor, on my mat, my mind wanders. I think of a cigarette. Then I think how funny it would be if I just calmly lit up in class. There are so many people here on the floor we have to be careful not to touch one another. Heavens no!

Smoky aspirations aside (I’ve been Quit over a year and a half!), my body can go deeper into yin now that I’ve been practicing. The body feels great; but it is unpleasant to have my face on the mat. I feel panic that I can’t breathe. I return to the breath and tell myself, I’m not going to die here. Mental discipline. I suppose.

So: life is busy.

VAMPIRES n shit

I forgot to tell you – I’m watching a vampire movie every day this month. Almost all of them are those I haven’t seen: the above-pictured is one I have, years ago. Had to get a DVD and everything!

Puppy Timez

 Puppy Times. Not our puppy! Oh my gosh. This puppy was built like a cube. It doesn’t even have a job!

Troublez

So this is what I come home to at night. Nels says Herbert Pocket has “intelligent” eyes. What do you think?

Phoenix

Soccer season is about halfway through. I don’t know what I’m going to do about Saturday’s game; I have about four places I’m supposed to be at once.

A Shared Meal

Friends joined us for a movie. And some taco dip. And taco soup. It’s fall, so it’s time for tacos. (It was also time for tacos during spring, summer, and will be in winter too).

SQUATCHIN'

Working on a pretty awesome project! Unveiling in two days.

Just Before A Walk

The kids are rocking it at school – and come home with energy to spare. I miss them

– but it’s liveable.

 

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“I’ll give you twenty-four hours, but I AM gonna call in some outside help, because my first responsibility is to save HUMAN lives, not sea-serpents.”

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I am currently soliciting donations so we four can have a modest, 6-day Lake vacation – including a gathering for Ralph’s birthday!

2014 Hogaboom Lake Vacation

As per usual, the support I receive online (through email, this site, Facebook, and Twitter) has been wonderful since the ten-plus years. This last year we’ve had a hard time with a few extra medical expenses, car trouble, and a lot of extra layout re: counseling for family trauma. That said, this is how Life works and I get that! We are hoping we can have our six days at the Lake as a vacation is good for anyone who can have one. If you can help in any way, it is appreciated. May I just offer my sincere gladness to those who read here, and those who comment or email, IM, tweet, or text. You are the reason I keep writing.

Thank you for reading and supporting in the many ways you do!

***

In other news, I launched a new website this month – B-movie BFFs!  (tonight’s fare – 1977’s Crater Lake Monster; if you’d like to watch with us, follow the instructions as per the site). This is the home of my ridiculous “Sea Hunt” project; upcoming you can expect my spoiler-free review of Season 2 of “Hemlock Grove”.

I have been trying to find a B-movie podcast I can promote through the site, so I’ve been listening to those to find a good fit. Most of them are male-dominated and not as tightly-produced as I’d like to recommend. Yesterday I tried, then rejected one that had extremely offensive humor right from the get-go. Currently I’m listening to a couple young(-sounding) British lads who definitely watch the kind of movies I want to be talking about, and have a great sense of humor as well. Let’s hope I’ve found a podcast I can call home!

Ralph is, of course, trying to convince me to put forth my own podcast (hardcore fans of all things Hogaboom will remember my one-off in this regard back in, I think, 2010). It sounds like a lot of work but, as I’ve had so much fun building my site and creating my “Sea Hunt” ringtones (HUGE NERD ALERT), I am nonetheless tempted!

Sea Hunt Hoodie

“Kelp is a beautiful underwater growth. It forms underwater gardens, dense jungles – but sometimes graveyards.”

(ed. – for my in-depth review of the television show “Sea Hunt” – including .gifs and ringtones – please see this thread on B-movie BFFs!)

Sea Hunt Hoodie

That’s right. Like a total nerd I made myself a “Sea Hunt” hoodie. They said I wouldn’t do it ( – or maybe they said, “who cares!”). But I did it. Because “Sea Hunt” is really really awesome and if you don’t see how, I will fight you. Oh also I am going to be watching and reviewing ALL 155 EPISODES OF THE SERIES. And I’ll be posting here. You heard.

Anyway here’s the hoodie. And the first episode of “Sea Hunt” – “Sixty Feet Below” – reviewed in the comments.

Sea Hunt Hoodie

synchronicities

The man swimming in the lane adjacent to mine has beautiful thighs.  They are a comfort as they flash in strobe against his small dark Speedo suit. He and I keep the same clip for a few laps. I don’t know about him, but I’m not trying to go faster or go slower; I definitely have too far to swim to mess about. “You do you and I’ll do me,” as the adage says.

That said, it’s hard not to speed up or slow down when someone adjacent makes pace.

Outside it’s balmy and warm. Spring it starting to flicker at the edges. The blossoms are out and the pavement smarts from the sun’s sincere warmth.

Winter habits are hard to break. Last night, on the agenda: Ralph and I watched Shark Attack III: Megalodon. Yeah that’s right, I watch terrible movies, on purpose, and I can’t seem to stop. SEND HELP because two weeks ago I cockily made a bet Ralph couldn’t stay up to watch all of Snowbeast (2011) with me. I was begging for death by the end. As for Megalodon – and unlike Snowbeast – the film is definitely in the, “so bad it’s good” category; the poor dubbing in particular makes it a surreal, cheese-tastic experience all the way through. The film weasels around for a full hour by trying to sell a regular-style shark before it finally heaves a big sigh and pulls some crumpled-up special effects from a dirty trouser pocket: the so-called “megalodon” – which is kind of like, the icing on the ass-cake.

Watching the film Ralph is like: “What’s with that guy? Is he drunk?” Me: “I don’t think the character is drunk if that’s what you’re asking.”

on an uncharted atoll in the Pacific!

My daughter glides in the door and puts her arms around me. “How are you?” she asks, and she means it. Maybe no one is as kind, considerate, and loving as this child.

Sometimes I think she’s this way (in part) because of the effort I have put into being a good mother. Sometimes I think she’s this way (in part) because of all the mistakes I’ve made.

Sometimes I know I need to love her fierce while she’s here, and just be thankful.

My daughter shares her private life with me – so far, just me! – and this is truly incredible. I treasure her trust, and her disclosures, more than I can say.  I am humbled, honored, and glad. She’s going through Big Stuff right now and I know lots of her peers and classmates are going through The Shit, so. I am glad she thinks I’m safe.

So she asks me How Are You and the truth is, I am still tired and I’ve been tired a little while. I’ve had my ass handed to me by a fatigue that doesn’t make sense. Kidneys, maybe? I don’t know. I’m not anemic; today’s blood donation (re-)assured me on this. I can’t afford doctor care right now but if and when things settle down a bit I will make a move in that direction. For now: chin up. Drink water. Try: patience. Today I read a tweet online, an actress ran her first twelve miles and was ecstatic – I feel (a rare and) strangled kind of envy. I would love something different than what I have.

Actor Russell Johnson passed today; my fellow B-moviephile and author Scott wrote up a post and I had a nostalgic smile over last March’s Attack Of The Crab Monsters embroidery project. I haven’t sewn, not a lick, in about two weeks – which for me, is a Forever. If I had food in the pantry and gas in the car I could sew maybe, but even then I’d have to feel less tired.

Times like this I have to practice my patience. That kind of earth-shattering, centered bit of patience. Maybe things will get better; no matter what, I know they will Change.

Attack Of The Crab Monsters (1957)

“Once they were men. Now they are land crabs.”

Attack Of The Crab Monsters (1957)

I finished this a while back, but I’ve always had trouble getting good pictures of embroidery. Nevertheless, it is HIGH TIME I unleashed this on the world, perfect pictures or no. To wit: my embroidery sampler from the 1957 Corman classic, Attack of the Crab Monsters!

Attack Of The Crab Monsters (1957), Embroidery Sampler

I think in the lower-left figure you’ll agree I captured the essence of the film’s villain, a downright devilish decapod:

crab_monster

Now, if you don’t think Attack of the Crab Monsters is awesome, we will probably never be CLOSE friends. For one it has the Professor in it, potraying a character a little rogue, a little lonely – and a wee bit sleazy (but not as sleazy as he was in say, Space Children). For another there is this huge papier-mache crab. They paid for it, so they’re gonna show it. They seemed to have spent a bit more time and detail on a separate claw prop, which they also showcase more than once:

Crab Monster Claw

Then there’s the funny-looking old radio, which is plot-central to the point (so of course, said radio is included in my sampler!):

AotCM_radio

And of course – the creatures from the opening credit design – just beautiful. The film is in black and white, so I tried to imagine these critters in color:

Attack Of The Crab Monsters (1957), Embroidery Sampler

My favorite thing about the film, though, is one of the salient plot points: radiation-enlarged crabs have consumed scientists, absorbed the knowledge of these scientists, and can telepathically communicate at will the voices and personalities of their victims.

And finally – perhaps my favorite thing ever in the film, is just how cavalier “Jim” is before he is despatched by the crafty crustaceans:

[sc_embed_player fileurl=”https://kelly.hogaboom.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/crabmonsters1.mp3″]

 
That was my ringtone for quite a while and I would LOLOL every time I heard it.

***

The second bit of embroidery – finished just yesterday – is Phoenix’s “Two Dragons”. I plan to have this framed in a way complimentary to her previous embroidered piece, “Mutant Horse”.

"Two Dragons"

I haven’t figured what, if anything, to add to the piece; I want to keep the simplicity of her line drawings intact. I hope to embroider and frame her pieces now and then so she has a nice little collection, if she wants it, for posterity.

In somewhat, less-exciting craftivism, I made an ironing board cover from sale fabric purchased at Elma Variety. I am a huge fan of Elma Variety; and while they may not have the fabric for garments I need – favoring a very large selection of quiliting cottons instead – they have so much great stuff in the way of notions, yarn and knitting/crotchet supplies, and general craftiness.

Ironing Board Cover, Ala Elma Variety

Ironing Board Cover, Ala Elma Variety

Happy krafting!

Miguel Ángel Fuentes in The Bermuda Triangle (1978)

Well, that happened.

I’d wondered what happened to Miguel Ángel Fuentes, the let’s-face-it de facto centerpiece of the 1980 silly “superhero” film Pumaman. I mean, I didn’t wonder about him enough to Google it or anything (he’s actually been getting plenty of work, thanks*). I  was pretty inspired to see Rifftrax’s latest cinematic offering, The Bermuda Triangle (1978) featured this delightful man. Most of the time he’s in the bilge getting soaking wet and – here’s where I sat up and paid attention – wearing a very impractical tiny babydoll crew tee. And not just one crew tee. But two!

Miguel Ángel Fuentes in The Bermuda Triangle (1978)

Then – wait for it –

Miguel Ángel Fuentes in The Bermuda Triangle (1978)

So one thing after last night’s viewing of this cinematic turd, Ralph and I decided we had to make those t-shirts (so we did). And then I thought I’d post the um, artwork, for the shirts, in case anyone else had to have them.

Black Whale III Tee, Design 1

Black Whale III Tee, Design 2

The Bermuda Triangle isn’t the crappiest film I’ve ever seen by any stretch (um, but just to be clear, it’s really, really bad). As far as movies go where you know everyone’s doomed, this film had me at the “OK let’s get down to it then” place within the first few half hour… then just dragged out. I think they also murdered a few actual sharks, put scuba-stuntmen at real risk, and littered a lot in the ocean, so that was kind of gross.

Anyway for anyone else who’s a little b-movie freak, here you go.

 * And he was in “The A-Team” pilot! I’ll bet playing a generic Latino bad guy who has no lines and gets blown up. I haven’t watched an episode of “The A-Team” ever, but, that’s my guess.

“By the sea, Mr. Todd, that’s the life I covet!”

My Mom & My Son, Before Heading Out To The BeachMy son, & my mom, about to head out to the beach together.

So YE GODS I’ve been having fun embroidering. Last night I finished up this space-age sampler as designed by Wendi Gratz. I really dig her whole approach, as found on her site Shiny Happy World.

Space Sampler

Space Sampler

Embroidered Comet, Close-Up

The whole business made me decide to make up my own patterns, including a sewn samper. LET’S SEE how it goes. Because you know, not only can I draw, but I’m into stuff. For instance last night? I started and finished the above piece, concluding my last stitches while viewing Attack of the Crab Monsters with my kids, Tylur, and Emily, and whilst sharing a pint of Late Night Snack with said Emily.

YES I REALIZE I HAVE NOTHING, EVER, TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

Anyway I could draw up some awesomeness ala Crab Monsters right this moment. Instead I drew and traced and finished a pattern of subjects close to my heart, non-Crab-Monster-related – and provided my sampler doesn’t shit the bed, you’ll be seeing it soon!

Embroidering

(Hint: will involve GLOW-IN-THE-DARK thread!)

Glow-In-The-Dark Embroidery Floss!

In other news: we got our table finished. The entire table was a gift, both in materials and construction, from friends. I am more than thrilled. It is my Favorite Table Ever. Many people were almost maimed while we put it together.

Making Our Kitchen Table Which Almost Killed A Few People

New Table! With New Wool Coat In Progress

First meal made on the table – meatballs! (recipe, previously shared):

Making Meatballs

Making Meatballs

Followed by – using the crusts discarded from Phoenix’s bread-cubing – fresh bread pudding for breakfast:

Fresh Bread Pudding For Breakfast

Phoenix:

Phoenix, Sly Creature

Harris (Every. Damn. Day!):

Life Is REALLY HARD For Harris

Finally: a piece of mine was published in the latest issue of Natural Life Magazine. As you’ve no doubt heard me say before, I heartily endorse anything written or published by Ms. Priesnitz, and I encourage y’all to head over and subscribe to this excellent publication.

In closing please, do not be so casual about “just a few land crabs” – unless you want to pay the ultimate price.