Posts tagged: BondBFFs

Twenty-five weeks, more or less consecutively! Twenty-five Bond films! Tonight we watch the latest, which practically JUST came out.

Skyfall is great – just what we like in a Bond film. Stunning production design, exotic dangers/bad guys/ladies, beautiful people, a lush credit sequence and theme song, a lavish series of locations, yadda yadda. Sadly Bond films are getting more subtly lady-hating (that is, “subtle” if you’re the type of person that continues to pretend lady-hate isn’t real), and I gotta be honest, it’s icky to watch (great points made here – warning, plot spoilers). On a brief, somber note – sometimes it seems misogyny is here to stay, forever! I choose to believe differently, because I have to.

My kids asked me why I like Bond films. I admit, in one sense they are indefensible. In ANOTHER, I have been a cinephile my entire life and I’m not above or below watching anything. One thing I love, is delving into a genre. Even a genre that might not make sense to other people. Tonight as we draw the curtain over twenty-five weeks of viewing I can say it’s been super fun to revisit the Bonds, with all their camp, splendor, horribleness, silliness, gadgets, drama, misfires, and iconic suavity.

You can join @VFD_crow & I in our commentary at #BondBFFs on Twitter. Better yet, get your copy of Skyfall*, pause the film immediately after the MGM lion logo fades, and press play again at exactly 6 PM PST according to this site’s clock.

See you tonight!

* (My advice? Buy a legal version, and download/torrent it to put the file on the computer through VLC or some such, so streaming internet doesn’t make viewing stutter.)

Tonight’s offering for #BondBFFs features stacks and stacks of ridiculously-good-looking people (Toby Stephens squee!), really awkward sexual pickup lines (because No – “ornithologist” is not an opportunity for a blowjob joke), and Madonna saying the word “cock” in a distinctly sadtrombone fail-moment. Opening credits went for originality as far as opening credits go, and have grown on me over a coupla viewings.

You can join @VFD_crow & I in our commentary at #BondBFFs on Twitter. Better yet, get your copy of Die Another Day*, pause the film immediately after the MGM lion logo fades, and press play again at exactly 6 PM PST according to this site’s clock.

See you tonight!

* (My advice? Buy a legal version, and download/torrent it to put the file on the computer through VLC or some such, so streaming internet doesn’t make viewing stutter.)

Carver: Mr. Jones, are we ready to release our new software?
Jones: Yes, sir. As requested, it’s full of bugs, which means people will be forced to upgrade for years.
Carver: Outstanding!

Tonight we feast our eyes on cheesy computer graphics and even cheesier media-moguls-are-megalomaniacs plot tropes in the eighteenth Bond installment – Tomorrow Never Dies!

 
I’ve seen this Bond film only once – probably when it came out. I remember only a handful of things: Jonathan Pryce is a groan-inducing ham, there’s one of those big blonde sadistic sonovabitch thugs (again, a Bond thing), there’s a sweet-ass remote control BMW heavily featured – and that Michelle Yeoh as Wai Lin is just awesome.

The theme song is a throwback to some of the earliest themes. A great song but Sheryl Crow just doesn’t have the balls-busting Bassey-ness, you know?

 
You can join @VFD_crow & I in our commentary at #BondBFFs on awesometi.me. Better yet, get your copy of Tomorrow Never Dies*, pause the film immediately after the MGM lion logo fades, and press play again at exactly 6 PM PST according to this site’s clock.

See you tonight!

* (My advice? Buy a legal version, and download/torrent it to put the file on the computer through VLC or some such, so streaming internet doesn’t make viewing stutter.)

1995 – the year I graduated high school and Bond films came out of hiatus with Pierce Brosnan starring in the seventeenth installment – Goldeneye!

Brosnan’s Bond reminds me of Connery’s Bond – sleazy, smug, handsome and hirsute. Brosnan, along with Daniel Craig, is one of the more athletic Bonds, which is kinda fun to watch (for some odd reason I always think of Brosnan as this wee little fellow but at 6′ 2″ he’s an inch taller than my husband!).

Goldeneye is pretty solid as a Bond film, showcasing good stunts, decent dialogue (except for the quips), and a beautiful production design. The two main Bondgirls aren’t much (Natalya is boilerplate rescue-fodder and Onatopp is one of the worst writing decisions in a franchise that’s made many poor choices), although Dame Judi Dench as M. and Samantha Bond as Moneypenny are a nice addition. We’ve also an adorable cameo by Minnie Driver, while Alan Cumming’s considerable talents are wasted in the character of Boris. Last but not least: a kick-ass theme song by some pop royalty:

 
You can join @VFD_crow & I in our commentary at #BondBFFs on awesometi.me. Better yet, get your copy of Goldeneye*, pause the film immediately after the MGM lion logo fades, and press play again at exactly 6 PM PST according to this site’s clock.

See you tonight!

* (My advice? Buy a legal version, and download/torrent it to put the file on the computer through VLC or some such, so streaming internet doesn’t make viewing stutter.)

 
Tonight on #BondBFFs we are watching the sixteenth Bond film! License To Kill marks Timothy Dalton’s second, and final, appearance as Bond, and it is a woefully underrated entry in the genre. And I’m sorry, but Dalton is just so handsome I have to post another image:

 
Hey, does anyone know why Bond has such a tiny gun? I’ve often wondered.

This film is pretty late-80s. Let’s see… dark revenge plot: check. Evil Columbian drug overlord: check. A tank of sharks: check. The film also features a beautiful and deadly Benicio del Toro, who looks about thirteen in this film. It’s also a very dark and very sexy Bond and I’m genuinely looking forward to it.

 
You can join @VFD_crow & I in our commentary at #BondBFFs on awesometi.me. Better yet, get your copy of License To Kill*, pause the film immediately after the MGM lion logo fades, and press play again at exactly 6 PM PST according to this site’s clock.

See you tonight!

* (My advice? Buy a legal version, and download/torrent it to put the file on the computer through VLC or some such, so streaming internet doesn’t make viewing stutter.)

Everyone knows the best thing about the fourteenth Bond film, A View To A Kill, is Grace Jones as May Day. She’s got the best pre-Bond boning line. The best fashion. The best thighs. She’s awesome. The film sends her off in a rather meh-way, but still.

llllllllladies

I can’t remember much else about the film except it’s Moore’s last, Tanya Roberts finds a well-fitting jumpsuit in the third act, and Christopher Walken plays Christoper Walken playing a bad guy. I should also mention the title song (only the second time in fourteen films a man sings the theme) and credits are RADSAUCE.

 
You can join @VFD_crow & I in our commentary at #BondBFFs on awesometi.me. Better yet, get your copy of A View To A Kill*, pause the film immediately after the MGM logo fades, and press play again at exactly 6 PM PST according to this site’s clock.

See you tonight!

* (My advice? Buy a legal version, and download/torrent it to put the file on the computer through VLC or some such, so streaming internet doesn’t make viewing stutter.)