turn around three times and spit on the ground

Have there ever been a more connected brother / sister duo than Sophie and Nels? First there’s the sleep thing. Wherever the kids start out at night, they end up in our bed by early morning (Nels usually joins us between 2 and 4 AM). So today as I am going about my early-morning shower and washing dishes they are in a pile deep in my bed. After our morning guest E. arrives Nels takes time off playing with her to care for his sister (who started feeling better gradually through the day) by getting her water and feeding her hot cereal. Then, at the tail end of the playdate with E. they show her how to play flashcards: my children both sitting, crossed legs and hands in laps, while Sophie goes through the dual-alphabet cards as “teacher” and Nels models “student”. Now as I type this we are at the library, my two taking turns playing on the computer while keeping their voices down. All this in response to my request they not take every board game toy out of the boxes today.

Motherhood has made me superstitious: the moment I give thanks for my children’s good health I ahve doomed one of them to fall ill; here I think aloud on their synchronicity and likely they will embark on a catty fighting phase. Maybe the trick is to make sure one avoids gloating and sticks to praise and thanks. I am really grateful for my children and the way they relate to one another. I count on it most days; today I want to take a moment to be glad for it.

In other events: one thing that’s not so fun is to be hit with cripping, painful Lady Day cramps in the middle of the day when you’re out of home without Midol nor hot water bottle or trashy TV to crash on. What makes it even less fun is for this to happen while bundled up winter-style on a walkabout in HQX, with two young children in tow, needing to do errands then eventually get home and get lunch then dinner (thank you 5 lb. bag of flour!). How I sometimes miss the days where one’s emergencies and illnesses really could be focussed on, rather than the background symphony of larger, sometimes stressful dependent-care duties that no one else can or will do for you.

Library time is about over; time to bundle two coats apiece, hats, and off to a visit to my father.

can you tell me why you have been so sad?

Today was the most brilliant wakeup in so long. All four of us in bed; sunlight filtering in. The Girl scooting up to her brother and kissing him on the mouth: “I love you, Nels.” Everyone waking up cozy, warm, and loved. These are moments in your life you will never have the same again.

After story time at the library, I had four girlfriends over with their babies (all girls!). We ladies are coming out of our winter hibernation. In catching up I can’t believe how much everyone’s lives are in flux. Pregnant, cranky and nervous; workaholic husbands, marriage trouble, friendships strained. To look at us from the outside we seem so boring. But there’s so much going on. Ralph came home for lunch to a roomful of 9 females (Nels was asleep in his room). He took it in stride.

Big date night for The Girl and I. First: sushi with Sindee and Julie. Edamame and rice for the wee one. Then some window shopping; a steamed milk; a carousel ride; and to the movie (Robots – great voice talent, little else to offer).

My life is full of love and I want to hold it in my heart.

you were the mother of three girls so sweet

who stormed through your turnstile and climbed to the street
but after conception your body lay cold
and withered through autumn and you found yourself old

can you tell me why you have been so(sad)

he took a lover on a faraway beach
while you arranged flowers and chose color schemes

can you tell me why you have been so sad?
can you tell me why you have been so sad?

the girls were all there
they traded their vows
the youngest one glared with furrowed brows
they tenderly kissed then cut the cake
the bride then tripped and broke the vase
the one you thought would spend the years
so perfectly placed below the mirror
arriving late you clean the debris
and walked into the angry scene

it felt just like falling in love again
and it felt just like falling in love again

can you tell me why you have been so sad?
can you tell me why you have been so…